Sunday, April 06, 2008

Joey And The Beanstalk

When my son was about five months old, my wife and our friend Allison brought him to the theater when they went to see Sweeney Todd*. I was allowed to stay home, but they were joined by Allison's brother Steve, who likely didn't realize when he woke up that morning that his innocent question - "Does that kid ever shut up?"** - would earn him a lasting place in our family history. I think Vicki mentions it every time she hears Steve's name. For the longest time, she was sure he hated her.

*I know what you're thinking - "You took a five-month-old to see Sweeney Todd? What kind of parents are you?!" - and you're probably right. If there is one area in which we have clearly failed as parents, it is with regards to the movies that we allow our child to see. The following are movies we've taken him to in the past nine months or so:

Knocked Up (he was in utero at the time, but I'm counting it anyway)
American Gangster
Sweeney Todd
I Am Legend
No Country For Old Men
Horton Hears A Who

Hey, if you can't perform basic sociological experiments on your own kid, who can you perform them on? At best, we figure he becomes a normal, well-adjusted, contributing member of society. At worst, he becomes a snarky barber with an ironically bad haircut who gets his girlfriend pregnant and creates a huge drug empire just before everyone in the world dies and leaves him as the last person alive - except for the small city that lives on a clover he discovers one day. Really, which one is more likely?

**In fairness, he had a) just woken up and b) not been properly informed that the soundtrack for the showing he was attending included a cranky baby.

Tonight, more than three months later after their initial encounter, Steve and Joey met again. And I made sure to get visual evidence of the showdown:

It's hard to tell from the picture, but the look on Joey's face is one of absolute terror. As my wife said when she saw him, "He looks like he wants to cry, but just CAN'T." I'm sure I felt the same way when confronted with a giant for the first time. Steve, on the other hand, was greatly amused by the situation, possibly because he realized that he's like 37 times the size of Joey. Either way, I'm pretty sure he doesn't hate him.

1 Comment:

Forever and Ever said...

Great article....Joseph does look terrified as all can be in this's a cute article!! What movie do you plan on taking him to next...any good ones out??