The 5th Pick

When you get right down to it, Celtics fans really have absolutely no right to complain about anything. True, the team has traveled a rough road these past twenty years, from Len Bias to Reggie Lewis to M.L. Carr to Rick Pitino to Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers to 2005’s Game 7 debacle against the Pacers to Tanking For Oden, but how can you complain about all that when the previous thirty seasons featured Red Auerbach, Bill Russell, eight straight championships, “Havlicek stole the ball!”, Dave Cowens, and Larry Bird?

Really, I don’t think you can.

So instead of getting all weepy and tearing up the odes we had written in preparation of The Savior’s arrival (sorry, I’m an unabashed Oden supporter who believes that his performance in the national championship game was a harbinger of twenty years of pure, unadulterated dominance; as far as I’m concerned, he was the only choice the Celtics could have made had they landed the number one), let’s actually do something somewhat productive – like providing a chart listing all the number five picks in the lottery era and seeing what kind of player generally comes out of that position.

Year	Name, Team	Yrs	PPG	RPG	APG
2006	Shelden Williams, Atlanta Hawks*	1	5.5	5.4	0.5
2005	Raymond Felton, Charlotte Bobcats*	2	12.9	3.4	6.3
2004	Devin Harris, Washington Wizards*	3	8.5	2.0	3.0
2003	Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat*	4	23.8	5.0	6.4
2002	Nickoloz Tskitishvili, Denver Nuggets	4	2.9	1.8	0.7
2001	Jason Richardson, Golden State Warriors*	6	18.3	5.4	3.2
2000	Mike Miller, Orlando Magic*	7	14.1	4.5	2.9
1999	Jonathan Bender, Toronto Raptors	7	5.6	2.2	0.6
1998	Vince Carter, Golden State Warriors*	9	24.1	5.4	4.1
1997	Tony Battie, Denver Nuggets*	10	6.7	5.6	0.7
1996	Ray Allen, Minnesota Timberwolves*	11	21.5	4.6	3.9
1995	Kevin Garnett, Minnesota Timberwolves*	12	20.5	11.4	4.5
1994	Juwan Howard, Washington Bullets*	13	16.1	7.1	2.6
1993	Isaiah Rider, Minnesota Timberwolves	9	16.7	3.8	2.7
1992	LaPhonso Ellis, Denver Nuggets	11	11.9	6.5	1.6
1991	Steve Smith, Miami Heat	14	14.3	3.2	3.1
1990	Kendall Gill, Charlotte Hornets	15	13.4	4.1	3.0
1989	J.R. Reid, Charlotte Hornets	11	8.5	5.0	1.0
1988	Mitch Richmond, Golden State Warriors	14	21.0	3.9	3.5
1987	Scottie Pippen, Seattle Supersonics	17	16.1	6.4	5.2
1986	Kenny Walker, New York Knicks	7	7.0	4.0	0.7
1985	Jon Koncak, Atlanta Hawks	11	4.5	4.9	1.0

Of the 22 players who were drafted fifth between 1985 and 2006, eleven were still active at the end of the 2006-2007 season. The old man in the group is Juwan Howard, the former member of the Fab Five who was drafted by Washington in 1994 (back when they were still the Bullets) and just finished up his thirteenth season with his fifth NBA team (in order: Washington, Dallas, Denver, Orlando, Houston).

The first name that immediately jumps out as a bust is Nickoloz Tskitishvili, Denver’s 2002 first rounder who was recently labeled “the worst-case scenario for any foreign pick” by Bill Simmons. Skitish actually saw a reasonable level of action his first season in the league, averaging 16.4 minutes in 81 games for the Nuggets, but it was all downhill from there. After four NBA seasons with four different teams, he did not play in the league in 2006-07.

If Skitish is the number one draft bust out of this position, I imagine the rest of that Top Five looking something like this (we’ll give Shelden Williams and Devin Harris a pass, for now): Jonathan Bender, Tony Battie, Kenny Walker, and Jon Koncak.

On the flip side of the busts are the success stories. Five players – Mitch Richmond, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Vince Carter, and Dwyane Wade – had or have career averages of 20+ points per game. Garnett is probably the most complete player in the group (20.5, 11.4, 4.5), although Wade (23.8, 5.0, 6.4) also has solid all-around numbers.

One guy who slips through the cracks when looking at the basic points-rebounds-assists numbers? Scottie Pippen. Pippen, of course, was a special player alongside Michael Jordan on the great Chicago Bulls teams of the 1990s, but his post-Jordan career totals weren’t nearly as impressive. Still, he’s one of those Top 50 All-Time players, a Hall of Famer who shows that you can’t always go on the strength of those basic numbers.

Basically, this is what it comes down to for the Celtics on draft night: best case, they end up with Dwyane Wade or Kevin Garnett, a special player who could make an immediate impact. Worst case, they end up with Skitish, a project who never quite pans out. Most likely, they take someone in the middle, a Steve Smith/Mike Miller-type player, and hope for the best.

The Links: I Love Skittles

You have no idea how happy it made me to read this (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Easily the second best thing I saw on the Internet today (Pyle of List)

Yeah, the whole, "passed a polygraph, so we're good" thing left a bad taste in my mouth too (Leave the Man Alone)

Mark me down for Jose Reyes (Complete Sports)

Chad Johnson is planning on racing a horse; I'm kinda interested in seeing what the horse comes up with for a celebration if he wins (Dejuiced!)

Not everyone thinks Johnson vs. Mr. Ed is a good idea (Nation Of Islam Sports Blog)

Invest in Topps? Sure, why not (Pacifist Viking)

Come on, blogosphere, start writing - Lozo needs reading material (Why Don't We Get Drunk and Blog?)

Kobe, Pierce and Agent Zero on the same team? It's why the ESPN Trade Generator (or whatever it's called) was created (WBRS Sports Blog)

Another good interview with another good blogger (The Big Picture)

The Washington Nationals are making some substantial changes in the clubhouse (DC Sports Bog)

Changing college baseball for the better (If I Ran...)

Making major league love connections (Babes Love Baseball)

The Links: Reliving The Night Austin Croshere Risked His Life To Bring Peace To Detroit

I love that Posada was giving the signs that catchers always give with runners on first and third about two pitches before this happened. Guess he forgot to add "don't forget about the guy on third." (Awful Announcing)

We already knew The Blog Show was good - here's a way to make it even better (Rumors and Rants)

The picture in this post is now the background on my computer; that's how much I love The Beard (Babes Love Baseball)

Speaking of great pictures: how can you not enjoy this? (Boiled Sports)

Am I the only one who really wants to see LeBron go off for 60-20-20 one of these days? The sneer makes me think it's completely possible (Flyers Fieldhouse)

Heeeeey youuuuu guuuuuuuuuuuys! (Mondesi's House)

Dusty Baker, keeping baseball fans on their toes (Brahsome)

Maybe if Bruce Boudreau makes it to the NHL, people will learn to spell his name correctly (DC Pro Sports Report)

The name of Texas' general manager escapes me at the moment (Jon Daniels? That sounds kinda right), but it's not important right now. What IS important is this: if the Rangers plan on trading Mark Teixeira this season, said GM had better lose Brian Cashman's phone number (Stiles Points)

Kobe for Dirk? Intriguing (Losers With Socks)

The NHL Finals have begun, and U.S. newspapers don't seem to care (Sports Couch Potato)

My two favorite moments amidst the insanity of this legendary video are, without a doubt, the Pistons fan who thinks it might be a good idea to square off against Ron Artest (who had just emerged from fighting - and beating - pretty much an entire section) and the part where Austin Croshere grabs a clearly insane Artest from behind and tries to calm him down (The Big Picture)

Hey, Clemens is gonna pitch against the Sox!? Oh. Never mind (The Hater Nation)

The Bizarro Hall of Fame: Introducing the Class of 1984

As part of an ongoing project, One More Dying Quail will be profiling the 182 current members of the Bizarro Hall of Fame, an organization that currently exists only in my mind. It was created in the wake of Major League Baseball’s infamous Steroid Era as a way of honoring those players whose careers were perfectly mediocre: the only requirement is that a candidate be listed on the official Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and receive zero votes.

Class of 1984

Ron Fairly – A three-time World Series winner with the Los Angeles Dodgers, Fairly was the only player to play for the original Montreal Expos in 1969 (he wasn’t an original Original, joining the team via trade in June) and the original Toronto Blue Jays in 1977. His greatest individual performance came in the 1965 World Series against the Twins, when he hit .379 with two homeruns and probably would have won the Most Valuable Player award if not for a guy by the name of Koufax.

(All Hall of Fame voting results were obtained from the official web site of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Statistical information included in postings for the Bizarro Hall of Fame was, unless otherwise noted, originally compiled by Baseball-Reference.com.)

(Coming soon: the Bizarro Hall of Fame Class of 1983.)

Visual Crack: A Most Impressive, Albeit Completely Useless, Skill

My personal best at this merry little endeavor? Three. Or maybe two, I'm not really sure. Whatever - this kid is way more talented than me, even if he is cheating a little by choking way up on the bat like that.

The Links: All Hail Darin Erstad!

Really, Brandon - four tickets to Sunday night's Sox-Yankees game? You know, if you're having trouble giving any of them away... (Bugs & Cranks)

The Red Sox player most deserving of an All-Star Game berth will be watching the Mid-Summer Classic from home - unless we do something about it (Yanksfan vs. Soxfan)

Yeah, this is definitely hot, for reasons I can't fully explain (The Big Lead)

It's true what they say: The Debriefing really is as good as they say (The FanHouse)

I love Star Wars (World History Blog)

There can be no doubt: Darin Erstad is the greatest all-around athlete in the history of sports (Fire Joe Morgan)

As someone who wrote two college papers on Jewish baseball players and extensively studied the subject for two years, I am ashamed that I did not think of this first (Bugs & Cranks)

The Links: Who In His Right Mind Would Trade Adam Dunn? (Hand Down, Mr. Krivsky)

Trading Adam Dunn does seem like a bad idea (Diamond Hoggers)

Really, Eva, a simple phone call could have prevented this from happening (Larry Brown Sports)

Don't make the same mistake I did: start reading this blog right now (Stiles Points)

While you're giving thanks to military veterans today, take a moment to think about Marquise Hill and his family (The FanHouse)

Is Brad Lidge ready to step back into the closer role for the Astros? (Bugs & Cranks)

Ray Emery is more than just a goalie who is good with his fists; he might be the NHL's next great marketing opportunity (Signal to Noise)

David Beckham is playing for England's national team. Very nice, but what about his MLS deal? (The Beautiful Game)

An ongoing series comparing the 2007 Minnesota Twins to their 1987 counterparts (Bugs & Cranks)

Unfortunately, the Red Sox mentioned this several months ago and Clemens laughed in their faces; wouldn't want to diminish his legacy (Sports Bastards)

Remembering The Six

Caution: this is not a blog about sports.

Last week, I profiled Eddie Grant, the U.S. Army Captain and former New York Giant who on October 5, 1918 became the first Major League Baseball player killed in time of war. At the time of his death, which came by way of a German artillery shell shortly before the end of World War I, Grant was taking part in a mission to rescue the “Lost Battalion”, a group of 550 U.S. soldiers that had been cut off in the Argonne Forest and was in danger of being wiped out completely by German forces (in the end, only 194 survived).

Even while writing about Grant, I began to consider the upcoming Memorial Day and wonder if any other players, either retired or active, had given life for their country. We all know about the service records of Ted Williams, Bob Feller, Hank Greenberg and countless other who sacrificed the best years of their careers to go to war, but had anyone besides Eddie Grant sacrificed something even greater?

The simple answer, it turned out, was yes. While Grant was the most accomplished major leaguer to be killed in combat, with ten respectable seasons under his belt, he was by no means the only one. Five others were killed in combat between 1918 and 1952, including two in the week following Grant’s death. None played more than seven games at the major league level, and three only appeared in a single contest, but they were all retired veterans of Major League Baseball.

(Note: the six deaths do not include those of Ralph Sharman, who drowned in Alabama on May 24 1918, and Larry Chappell, who died of influenza on November 9, 1918. Both Sharman and Chappell had seen major league action during the 1917 season.)

Bun Troy (killed October 7, 1918 in Petit Maujouym, France) – the German-born Troy appeared in one game as a pitcher with the 1912 Detroit Tigers, making the start and allowing four runs in 6 2/3 innings.

Alex Burr (killed October 12, 1918 in Cazaux, France) – Despite some Internet sources that claim he died on his 25th birthday (November 1), Lieutenant Burr was killed nearly three weeks before that date when his burning plane crashed into a lake. According to the obituary in the Chicago Daily Tribune, his body was not immediately recovered. A cup of coffer player in the majors, Burr appeared in one game as a defensive replacement for the 1914 New York Yankees.

Elmer Gedeon (killed April 20, 1944 in St. Pol, France) – Captain Gedeon became Major League Baseball’s first casualty of World War II when the bomber he was piloting was shot down over France; only his co-pilot escaped. His playing career consisted of five games as an outfielder for the 1939 Washington Senators.

Harry O’Neill (killed March 6, 1945 on Iwo Jima) – First Lieutenant Harry O’Neill, who played one game for his hometown Philadelphia Athletics in 1939, was killed just days before Iwo Jima was finally taken by the United States.

Bob Neighbors (missing in action, August 8, 1952 in North Korea) – Little is available online about Neighbors, a major in the Air Force, for the fact that he was shot down over North Korea in 1952 and his body was never recovered. His major league service time (seven games with the 1939 St. Louis Browns) was minimal, but still second only to Eddie Grant among those who were killed in action.

Memorial Day doesn’t have to be a sad day. There is still time for barbecues and spending time with family and celebrating the arrival of another long-awaited summer. But while you’re doing all those things, take a moment to remember Eddie Grant, Bun Troy, Alex Burr, Elmer Gedeon, Harry O’Neill, Bob Neighbors, and all the other brave soldiers who left to defend our country and never came home.

(For information on NFL players who have been killed in combat, check out Cold, Hard Football Facts.)

Happy Birthday: May 28 - June 3

(Baseball birthdays found here have been compiled from the “Frivolities” section at Baseball-Reference.com. All other birthdays were taken from Wikipedia.)

May 28
Warren Giles (baseball) – 1896
Jerry West (basketball) – 1938
Rudy Giuliani (former NYC mayor) – 1944
Elisabeth Hasselbeck (television panelist) – 1977

May 29
Bob Hope (entertainer) – 1903
John F. Kennedy (U.S. president) – 1917
Fay Vincent (baseball commissioner) – 1938
Al Unser (auto racing) – 1939
Adrian Paul (actor) – 1959
Carmelo Anthony (basketball) – 1984

May 30
Amos Rusie (baseball) – 1871
Gale Sayers (football) – 1943
Manny Ramirez (baseball) – 1972

May 31
Clint Eastwood (actor/director) – 1930
Joe Namath (football) – 1943
Jim Craig (hockey) – 1957
Kenny Lofton (baseball) – 1967
Jake Peavy (baseball) – 1981

June 1
Marilyn Monroe (actress) – 1926
Morgan Freeman (actor) – 1937
Paul Coffey (hockey) – 1961
Alexi Lalas (soccer) – 1970
Heidi Klum (model) – 1973
Alanis Morrisette (singer) – 1974
Carlos Zambrano (baseball) – 1981
Justine Henin (tennis) – 1982

June 2
Gary Bettman (hockey) – 1952
Dennis Haysbert (actor) – 1954
Early Boykins (basketball) – 1976
Freddy Adu (soccer) – 1989

June 3
Steve Lyons (baseball) – 1960
Barry Lyons (baseball) – 1960
Jose Molina (baseball) – 1975
Izzy Molina (baseball) – 1981
Rafael Nadal (tennis) – 1986


Photos: DeansPlanet.com and this site

The Bizarro Hall of Fame: Introducing the Class of 1985

As part of an ongoing project, One More Dying Quail will be profiling the 182 current members of the Bizarro Hall of Fame, an organization that currently exists only in my mind. It was created in the wake of Major League Baseball’s infamous Steroid Era as a way of honoring those players whose careers were perfectly mediocre: the only requirement is that a candidate be listed on the official Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and receive zero votes.

Class of 1985

Clay Carroll – One of baseball’s best relief pitchers in the early 1970s, Carroll briefly held the major league record for saves in a season when he nailed down 37 contests for the Reds in 1972 (the mark was broken by Detroit’s John Hiller the following year). A two-time All-Star, he boasted a 1.39 ERA in 22 career postseason games, including 1.33 in 20 1/3 World Series innings.

Ed Kranepool – Briefly a member of the original 1962 New York Mets as a 17-year-old first baseman (he appeared in three games), Kranepool spent all of his eighteen major league seasons with the team. As a result, his formative years were spent on some of the worst teams in major league history, but he was rewarded by being a part of the 1969 World Series winning Amazin’ Mets and the 1973 team that lost to Oakland.

George Scott – Although the Red Sox finished a distant ninth in the American League in 1966, there was reason for hope in Boston: in addition to Carl Yastrzemski, Tony Conigliaro and Rico Petrocelli, the lineup featured Scott, a slugging 23-year-old first baseman who hit 27 homeruns while making an All-Star Game appearance and finishing third in the Rookie of the Year voting. He spent five more seasons in Beantown (and was a key member of the 1967 Impossible Dream team) before being traded to Milwaukee, where he enjoyed some of his finest seasons (1972-76).

Bobby Tolan – A forgotten member of the early Big Red Machine teams, Tolan’s had his best seasons for the Reds in 1969 and 1970. He missed the 1971 season after rupturing his Achilles tendon, but returned the following year to help Cincinnati to the World Series. He played all seven games in his fourth Fall Classic (he also appeared in 1967 and 1968 with the Cardinals and 1970 with the Reds), hitting .269 with five stolen bases. For his efforts, Tolan received the 1972 Hutch Award, “given to an active player who best exemplifies the fighting spirit and competitive desire to win.” Previous winners included Mickey Mantle, Carl Yastrzemski, Sandy Koufax, and Pete Rose. He later spent one season as manager of the independent Atlantic League’s Nashua Pride.

Roy White – Like Ed Kranepool, White was a career-long New York player (for the Yankees) who survived some dark days before finally playing for several good teams in the late 1970s. He appeared in three World Series with the Yankees, hitting .333 in a 1978 win over the Dodgers.

(Coming soon: the Bizarro Hall of Fame Class of 1984.)

(All Hall of Fame voting results were obtained from the official web site of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Statistical information included in postings for the Bizarro Hall of Fame was, unless otherwise noted, originally compiled by Baseball-Reference.com.)

The Bizarro Hall of Fame: Introducing the Class of 1986

As part of an ongoing project, One More Dying Quail will be profiling the 182 current members of the Bizarro Hall of Fame, an organization that currently exists only in my mind. It was created in the wake of Major League Baseball’s infamous Steroid Era as a way of honoring those players whose careers were perfectly mediocre: the only requirement is that a candidate be listed on the official Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and receive zero votes.

Class of 1986

Vic Davalillo – Davalillo spent the first 5+ years of his career as a Gold Glove-winning member of the Cleveland Indians outfield, then used that glove to hang on for ten more years with five more teams. After missing the entirety of the 1975 and 1976 seasons, he emerged in Los Angeles, where he spent four years as the oldest player in the National League before finishing his career in 1980. He retired with two World Series rings and a lifetime postseason batting average of .323.

Darold Knowles – Oh, to be young and a Washington Senator: in 1969, Knowles appeared in 53 games for the Senators, posting a 2.24 ERA with thirteen saves and 59 strikeouts. His won-lost record was 9-2. The next season, he appeared in 71 games, had a 2.04 ERA with 27 saves, and struck out 71 batters. His won-lost record was 2-14. The first year, he was an All-Star; the second, he got a three day mid-season vacation. Go figure. Moot point anyway – his best season was 1971 (5-1, 11 saves, 1.37 ERA). Also, it needs to be mentioned that Knowles was a member of the 1978 Montreal Expos pitching staff that included, at one time or another, at least SEVEN Bizarro Hall of Famers.

(Coming soon: the Bizarro Hall of Fame Class of 1985.)

(All Hall of Fame voting results were obtained from the official web site of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Statistical information included in postings for the Bizarro Hall of Fame was, unless otherwise noted, originally compiled by Baseball-Reference.com.)

The Links: Does This Mean We Can Expect A Vernon Wells Guest Column In SI?

Come on, Sam, leave Theo alone (Just Call Me Juice)

Begone, NHL - back to Canada with you! (Signal to Noise)

Another day, another defection. Forces beyond my control are pushing me ever closer to the inevitable leap to Wordpress (Run Up The Score!)

An important note to file away in the event I ever meet Scott Skiles (The Postmen)

Cool, ESPN has a new football blog. Is it good? (The Big Lead)

See, this is where Zach and I differ: for me, 6'5, 187 is, without a doubt, a "yes" vote (The Big Picture)

Ryan Madson is a huge Chase Utley fan (Bugs & Cranks)

Glad I'm not the only one who found this a bit odd (Deadspin)

Bill Belichick is thisclose to unveiling the shocking new twist in the Patriot offense: an unprecedented seven wide receiever set. Who needs Charlie Weis? (The FanHouse)

My wife has a pretty solid reputation as a picky eater. Honey, I'd like to introduce you to Michael Kay (Can't Stop The Bleeding)

The hopes and dreams of the Cleveland Cavaliers rest on the shoulders of one man (Flyers Fieldhouse)

Yadier Molina? Really? That's the best you can do? (The Baseball Card Blog)

Adam LaRoche needs to start doing something that will actually help his team offensively (Ump Bump)

It is entirely possible that ESPN might be overhyping Roger Clemens' minor league starts. I know, I know - ESPN and overhype in the same sentence. Hard to believe (Diamond Hoggers)

Sometimes, there are no words to adequately explain the content of a post. Just read this and you'll understand (Ladies...)

Pesky Site Maintenance

The links list on the left has been updated, mostly with those of you who were kind enough to comment on the Tina Cervasio/Erin Andrews and Boston Celtics Draft Lottery stories (much thanks to Deadspin and The Big Lead, by the way. Thanks largely to those two sites, I've had almost 9,000 people here in the last two days). I don't reply to a lot of comments, but enjoy reading through all of them (except those stupid spammy ones. I hate those).

I was a little dumb when doing this, however, and forgot to also transfer the links to my RSS feeder. If you are new to the list over there and want me to see your writing for possible inclusion in the daily links posts, either leave a comment here or shoot me an email and I'll be sure to add you in.

Now, get off of this post and go find a more worthwhile spot to waste five minutes. With more than 250 posts here, SOMETHING has to be decent.

Come Back Soon, Akinori

Maybe now my fantasy baseball team can actually start getting some production from the lineup: Tampa Bay third baseman Akinori Iwamura is expected to return from a strained oblique muscle early next week.

Iwamura got off to a great start for the Rays this season, hitting .339 and OPSing .961 in 18 games before the injury. Unfortunately, when he went on the disabed list on April 24, I was left with a grand total of zero options at the hot corner.

Corey Koskie is out indefinitely while recovering from post-concussive syndrome. John Hattig was sent to the minors in spring training and has not played an inning for Toronto this season. And Pete Orr is 5-for-27, a stout .185 batting average. It might be time to look through the rosters again and see if any newbies are on the scene.

I'm within striking distance of fourth place right now (3.5 games back) thanks to my pitching staff, which is well balanced across the categories and is currently more or less healthy. Once Iwamura comes back and (hopefully) starts producing, I might actually have a chance.

The Links: Shameless Self-Promotion is a Good Thing, Right?

Will the Portland Trail Blazers make the same mistake they did 23 years ago? (The Starting Five)

Are the Tampa Bay Devil Rays becoming Major League Baseball's version of the Cincinnati Bengals? (Oriole Post)

Oh, my (Lion in Oil)

The next time Alex Rodriguez tries to break up a double play against the Red Sox, Dustin Pedroia is gonna go Chad Bradford on his ass (Awful Announcing)

Can there be any doubt that as soon as Jason Giambi opened his mouth about steroids in baseball, Bud Selig called Brian Cashman into his office and ordered the Code Red? Methinks somebody is sending a message to any other player who dares mutter the "s" word in public (The FanHouse)

Not surprisingly, this year's batch of baseball rookies don't match up all that well with the gold standard - Albert Pujols' 2001 season (The Extrapolater)

Three potential ways for the Celtics to pry the number one pick away from Portland. I'm all about option number one (Hi-Plains Drifter)

Do not criticize Tim Wakefield without a good reason and supporting evidence. Note: the fact that he throws really, really slow is NOT a good reason (Fire Joe Morgan)

You mean people actually care about what I have to say? I had no idea (Pyle of List)

Eddie Grant: A Real American Hero

As baseball players go, Eddie Grant was not exceptionally impressive.

A light-hitting infielder even for the Deadball Era, he led the National League in singles for two of his four seasons as a regular player, boasted a lifetime slugging percentage of .295, and finished in the top three in outs made three times. Still, Grant did enough good things to last ten years and 990 games in the major leagues, figures that remain the most by far for any player who attended Harvard, before retiring in 1915 to practice law.

“Harvard” Eddie would have been no more memorable than any other player from that era if not for two small details: he was the first major leaguer to enlist when the United States entered World War I (despite the fact that he was over thirty at the time) and the best known to be killed in The Great War.

A captain in the 307th Infantry, 77th Division, Grant was killed on October 5, 1918, one week into the Battle of the Argonne Forest, a nearly seven-week operation designed by future five-star general George Marshall to cut off German supply lines. The plan was ultimately successful, leading to German surrender and an end to the war in mid-November.

Grant’s battalion was three days into the forest and three days without sleep when the last officer who outranked him, a Major Jay, was injured and passed command to the captain. Soon after, Grant was hit by a shell and killed instantly. A memorial was placed in centerfield at the Polo Grounds 2 1/2 year later and remained until the Giants left for San Francisco in the late 1950s.

With his birthday in the rear view mirror (May 21) and Memorial Day coming up next week, we would all do well to remember Captain Grant and the sacrifice he made for the freedoms we all enjoy.

Photo: Free Republic

Hey, Maybe Joakim Noah Will Be Available

Fifth. The Celtics will be drafting fifth next month. Fuck you, Adam Silver.

That man you see to the left is probably not happy right now. He's probably already texted his agent with the obligatory, "alright, get me the hell out of here!" message.

But we knew this was gonna happen, right? We knew the bad "tanking" karma was gonna come back to bite this team in the ass, didn't we? There was never a chance the Celtics would get one of the coveted top two picks, was there?

I don't know who pissed off the Basketball Gods (besides the tankers), but apparently they have ruled that the penance the Celtics must pay for thirty years of magic is thirty more years of hell.

Hopefully Bill Simmons is alright, because the one thing I absolutely CANNOT wait for is tomorrow's column on this topic. It could be the most awesome depressed/angry/frustrated/"I've lost the will to live" moment any of us has ever seen.

Seriously, though, what the hell happens now? Who do they take in this slot? Corey Brewer? Joakim Noah? Al Horford? Mike Conley, Jr.? Greg Oden, Sr.? That really tall Chinese guy? This doesn't only affect the Celtics - it means I actually have to put some effort into figuring out who they should draft. Fuck you, Adam Silver.

(And you know what? Fuck you too, Blogger. If I hit "enter", I want a space between paragraphs. If I don't, I want to continue the paragraph. Not that difficult.)

Visual Crack: The Best of Johnny Cash

(I've been trying to come up with a name for the weekly YouTube offering for some time now, and finally decided to go ahead and hijack a term I first heard from the esteemed Signal to Noise as a description of Dateline's To Catch A Predator series. Feel free to pass along any comments, criticisms or suggestions)

Every once in a while, I like to slide away from sports for a bit and use the power of YouTube to highlight some of my favorite music. Today's victim? Johnny Cash.

Hurt



I Walk the Line



Ring of Fire



San Quentin



Love's Been Good To Me



A Boy Named Sue



Jackson



Folsom Prison Blues



Me and Bobby McGee



Man In Black

The Links: Whatever You Do, Don't Sign Up For E-Referrer

The events of tonight could make a very big difference in the future of Boston basketball. I'm guessing the Celtics end up picking third (Sox Gal)

Beautiful women are pretty much the only reason I ever watch tennis (okay, beautiful women and Roger Federer) or volleyball; why not throw golf into the mix? (Shot to Nothing)

This young lady has a bright (and pleasant smelling) future ahead of her (Larry Brown Sports)

First Gilbert Arenas' shoe, now this; Marco is fast becoming one of the blogosphere's more heroic figures (Just Call Me Juice)

If Peyton Manning was such a good leader, why didn't he have these guy's phone numbers to begin with? (The Hater Nation)

Proof that even Tim Kurkjian can fall victim to the occasional hyperbolic statement (Fire Joe Morgan)

Argument number one for holding the NBA Draft Lottery on a Friday night (The Big Picture)

This May Or May Not Be A Sign Of The Apocalypse

This is neither here nor there, but I needed to tell somebody before my head exploded.

Right now, Crocodile Dundee is on Bravo (channel 53). Spike, two channels up, is showing Crocodile Dundee II.

Now, if only someone can convince AMC to purchase the rights to Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles...on second thought, I don't know what will happen in that case. Probably nothing good.

Photos: IMDB

Happy Birthday to You: May 21 - May 27

(Baseball birthdays found here have been compiled from the “Frivolities” section at Baseball-Reference.com. All other birthdays were taken from Wikipedia.)

May 21
Eddie Grant (baseball) – 1883
Earl Averill (baseball) – 1902
Monty Stratton (baseball) – 1912
Ara Parseghian (football) – 1923
Bobby Cox (baseball) – 1941
Mr. T (actor) – 1952
Chris Benoit (pro wrestling) – 1967
Ricky Williams (football) – 1977
Briana Banks (adult film star) – 1978
Jesse Capelli (adult film star) – 1979
Belladonna (adult film star) – 1981

May 22
Al Simmons (baseball) – 1902
Lord Laurence Olivier (actor) – 1907
Walt Hriniak (baseball) – 1943
Tommy John (baseball) – 1943
George Best (soccer) – 1946
Apolo Anton Ohno (speed skating) – 1982

May 23
Zack Wheat (baseball) – 1888
Marvelous Marvin Hagler (boxing) – 1952
Kevin Romine (baseball) – 1961
Kelly Monaco (actress) – 1976

May 24
Bob Dylan (singer) – 1941
Joe Dumars (basketball) – 1963
Pat Verbeek (hockey) – 1964
John C. Reilly (actor) – 1965

May 25
Lip Pike (baseball) – 1845
Gene Tunney (boxing) – 1897
Martin Dihigo (baseball) – 1905
Miguel Tejada (baseball) – 1976
Brian Urlacher (football) – 1978
Shawne Merriman (football) – 1984

May 26
John Wayne (actor) – 1907
Peter Cushing (actor) – 1913
Miles Davis (musician) – 1926
Brent Musberger (broadcaster) – 1939
Sally Ride (astronaut) – 1951

May 27
Jeff Bagwell (baseball) – 1968
Frank Thomas (baseball) – 1968
Vincent Price (actor) – 1911
John Cheever (author) – 1912
Sam Snead (golfer) – 1912
Henry Kissinger (politician) – 1923

Photos: AskMen.com and Lukeisback.com

Battle of the Sideline Reporters

Tonight's Red Sox-Yankees simulcast on ESPN and NESN, and the resulting Erin Andrews sighting, has finally given me the opportunity to do a post on Andrews and my own personal favorite eye candy sideline reporter, Tina Cervasio.

To consider comparing these two is an exercise in futility. The general consensus on the Internet is that Andrews is, without question, the hottest reporter on television today (and she has the statistics to prove it). An example of her relevance is best seen in the work of my esteemed colleague Signal to Noise, who wrote an ode to Erin in January, had it linked by Jamie Mottram and is still seeing a ton of traffic from it (at least he was - not sure how StN's recent move affects things).

Andrews' dominance over the field derives, as I see it, from four major things:

1) She has a great front

2) She has a great back

3) Unlike seasonal phenoms such as Stacey Dales, Andrews is on our televisions almost all the time. It's not easy to get away from her (of course, why would you want to?)

4) She's only 29, which is well within the acceptable range for most sports bloggers and fans. Which means we would totally have a chance with her if we would only put on some pants and leave our parents' basements. Lucky girl.


I admit that Andrews is one of the most attractive reporters in sports right now (Melissa Stark might be her only real challenger), but as I mentioned above, she is not my all-time very most favoritest. That distinction belongs to Tina Cervasio, who for the last two season has served as the sideline reporter for Red Sox telecasts on NESN. She assumed that role in 2006, following in the footsteps of the immortal Eric Frede, and was immediately considered a failure by many fans who based their opinions on such silly ideas as "she's a big step down from her predecessors" and "she is rarely insightful or natural in front of the camera." Interesting fact, though: she was literally learning on the job, having started just days before Opening Day.

Fortunately, I am much, much more shallow than that and immediately took to Cervasio's big smile, pretty face, and overall energy (throw in "grittiness" and you'd swear I was talking about David Eckstein). I viewed her as a contrast to Hazel Mae (who I swear did some sideline reporting, but Wikipedia disagrees), previously the channel's token on-air female personality and someone whose work I had never really enjoyed.

Cervasio falls short in direct comparison to Andrews because she is older (32), doesn't quite fit the same definition of "hot" in the modern sense, and is limited to a regional fan base (yes, it's the Red Sox, but still - ESPN puts Andrews and her assets in front of far more people than NESN does Cervasio). In all honesty, she would probably be more favorably compared to someone like Sam Ryan or Rachel Nichols, which is somewhere in between Bonnie Bernstein and Suzy Kolber.

For the record, Christine Nubla is currently off the charts.

One more thing I wanted to mention about Cervasio: her father, Joe Cervasio, is one of us (sort of) - he writes a blog called "Good News on the Doorstep".

The Links: If I Hurt My Fingers While Blogging, Can I Sue Toshiba?

If anyone else even dared consider this idea, I would laugh them out of the blogosphere (Every Day Should Be Saturday)

This totally pumped me up - then I watched the first two innings of tonight's game (josh q. public)

Good news everyone: boxing has ALWAYS been corrupt! (WBRS Sports Blog)

The Beard is clearly getting the shaft in this year's All-Star voting (Yanksfan vs. Soxfan)

Isn't the threat of injury sort of an inherent risk of sports participation? If you don't want your kid to get hurt, lady, put him in a bubble (on a side note, that video never gets old) (Run Up The Score!)

Maybe we should just make Tommy John surgery a requirement for all twelve-year-old baseball players (Signal to Noise)

The Internet is gonna be a lot less funny for the next week or so (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

No kidding: if I somehow caught the ball that Barry Bonds hit for #756, I think I'd keep it (Diamond Hoggers)

Muhammad Ali was great, but Joe Frazier wasn't so bad either (The Human Side of Sports)

Sunday was not the best day of Andruw Jones's career (Larry Brown Sports)

Amare Stoudemire didn't drive under the influence, hit a woman or make it rain; then why is he in the news? (Nation Of Islam Sports Blog)

I've Been Looking For An Excuse To Post This Picture

I was watching the Red Sox-Yankees on NESN just now when, out of curiosity more than anything, I flipped over to ESPN to see if they were also broadcasting the game.

Yep, they were - and not ten seconds after the flip, an Erin Andrews sighting (looking particularly good, if I may say so).

Unfortunately, ten seconds after THAT, Aquaman hit one about 700 feet into the third deck. I treated it as a sign from the Baseball Gods and beat feet back over to Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy.

The Links: The Battle For Nebraska Begins

Say what you will about Yankees fans - they stick with the team through thick and thin (Yankee Stadium Insider)

I like to think of this lovely young lady as the female version of Dave Lozo (did I just call Lozo "lovely"?) (I'm Always Right)

Craig Sager has a knack for showing up in the right place at the right time (Awful Announcing)

Jason Giambi used steroids? Really? (Signal to Noise)

Who doesn't love Otis Nixon? (Our Book of Scrap)

What if Barry Bonds wins the National League's MVP award this season? (The Sports Flow)

Tayshaun Prince is the straw that stirs the Pistons' drink (TrueHoop)

Think that Colorado-Kansas City series doesn't mean anything? You obviously don't live in Nebraska (Hi-Plains Drifter)

The 2002 NBA draft class isn't looking all that impressive these days (A Price Above Bip Roberts)

Just when you thought Skip Bayless couldn't possibly be more irritating... (Just Call Me Juice)

Even an uninspired Lozo manages to pump out quality work...or is this "boredom" a carefully crafted plot to lure Debbie into his bed? (read the comments on this link, you'll understand) (Why Don't We Get Drunk and Blog?)

Seems like common sense that the Orioles would have "Baltimore" on their road uniforms. Not everyone sees it that way, however, including team management (Oriole Post)

You know you're at least moderately famous when another blog singles you out for an interview (Pyle of List)

First, The Bad News...

Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett, who blazed out of the gate to a 7-0 record in his first eight starts, is gonna be out of commission for two weeks; he suffered an avulsion (translation: a boo-boo) on the middle finger of his right hand last Sunday and was placed on the disabled list on Thursday (retroactive to Monday, if Yahoo! is to be believed).

Now, the good news...

Devern Hansack has been called up to start against the Braves tomorrow night.

You might wonder why one might consider this exciting information, and I wouldn't blame you for questioning my sanity. This is, after all, the same Devern Hansack who has exactly two-thirds of a major league inning and a 13.50 ERA on his resume this season. Throw in the three walks, 6.00 WHIP and .333 BAA and you will be well within your rights to consider having me committed to the mental health care facility of my choosing.

But hold that thought and allow me to present several reasons why Devern Hansack is among my favorite Red Sox players:

1) He was born in Pearl Lagoon, Nicaragua, a cool sounding location in a country that has always fascinated me. When I was in fifth grade, my best friend (Rachael Hanley) moved there with her family; a few months later, she sent me a stuffed brown frog. I'd like to think that such items are commonplace in Central America and that Devern carries one with him at all times, keeping it in the locker wherever he goes. Kinda like Jobu.

2) His name is Devern Hansack. I like the way it sounds.

3) He is roughly 29 years old (that link below gives four different possibilities) and was almost out of professional baseball before the Red Sox stumbled upon him at a tournament in Holland (yeah, really - Holland).

4) The biggest reason behind my irrational hero worship of a pitcher with three career appearances is the fact that he pitched the single best game I have ever had the pleasure of watching in person. Facing the Baltimore Orioles on the last day of the 2006 season, the Red Sox were essentially playing for nothing but pride. They were long since eliminated from the playoff picture and guaranteed of finishing no better than THIRD in the AL East, a practically unheard of development for a team that had finished second to the Yankees for eight consecutive seasons. It was Curt Schilling's regular turn in the rotation, but millionaire superstars don't pitch in meaningless October games, so Terry Francona handed the ball to Hansack, ostensibly so the brass could take a look and figure out if he was worth a look in 2007.

We found out a day or two before about the switch, prompting me to jokingly tell my brother (who was also attending the game, separately from my wife and I) that I was looking forward to seeing "this Hansack kid" pitch. I guess I kinda was, in retrospect, in the same way that I once had an interest in seeing Casey Fossum take the hill; they weren't as exciting to watch as Schilling or Pedro Martinez, but there was the chance that it would be a good opportunity to see someone who could be a key contributor to the pitching staff down the road.

Turns out it was also a good opportunity to get really, really wet. My wife and I got to the ballpark just before noon and were waiting outside the gate when the first drops began to fall. By the time we got inside and found our seats, a steady rain was coming down and being blown all over the place by a brisk wind. We bought a couple of cheapie ponchos and were getting ready to wait it out when we realized something very bad: the wind was blowing from first to third, which meant that even a light drizzle was being throw in our faces. Meanwhile, my brother and his girlfriend, my father, and my uncle were on the other side of the park, pretty much completely dry. So not fair.

The game ended up starting at five o'clock, a delay of several hours (it felt like days). The Sox jumped out to a quick 3-0 lead on a Mike Lowell homerun and added four more in the bottom of the third, reminding Baltimore just which team was third-best in the division.

It was around this time that I took a good look at the scoreboard and noticed something unusual: Devern Hansack had not allowed a hit. There had definitely been a baserunner, a second inning walk to Fernando Tatis, but no hits. At the end of the fourth, I nudged my wife and told her to look at the scoreboard. Her response? "Wow." Yeah - "Wow."

By the fifth, it became apparent that the goal was to make the game official before the next storm came rolling through. They just made it, finishing five full innings before the umpires pulled everyone off the field at 7:30 and called it thirty minutes later. Hansack closed out his outing in fine fashion, striking out Miguel Tejada and Fernando Tatis and getting Chris Gomez to fly out to center to end the fifth.

A few other interesting things happened that day - Peter Gammons threw out the first pitch, Trot Nixon played his final game in a Red Sox uniform and my ill-fated attempt at the Atkins Diet was buried beneath an avalanche of Italian sausage, hot dogs and french fries - but the no-hitter was far and away the best part. You can tell me, like my friend Trish did, that it wasn't really a no-no, and you would be right. Certainly it would have been even more remarkable had the game continued and Hansack had held on into the late innings. But it was still an unbelievable experience to look up at the scoreboard and realize that something special was happening.

Chances are that Hansack won't come even close to a no-hitter on Friday night; best case scenario is probably a few good innings and keeping it close before handing the ball off to the bullpen. Think about how cool it would be, however, if he shut down the Braves that first time through the lineup, taking it into the third or fourth before giving up a hit. I know, I know - wishful thinking.

But it would be pretty awesome, wouldn't it?

Get Well Soon, Bo!

Bo Diddley is a Rock and Roll Hall of Famer and a Grammy Award winner, but he will always be known to me as the guy with the guitar in those Nike "Bo Knows" commercials from the late 1980s. Though I was only nine or ten at the time, I can still remember looking at my mother at the end and saying, "I don't get it. Who is that guy?" So she explained that he was a great guitar player and the closing line was a play on his last name, Diddley. What can I say - I wasn't a smart kid.

It was reported yesterday that the 78-year-old Diddley, who has had health issues in the past, landed in the hospital after suffering a stroke. His condition was listed as guarded.

I've never been a listener of Diddley's music (even though USA Today's Sports Scope dubs the Nike commercials "his least relevant work", those ads are all I know of the man; maybe I should head over to iTunes tonight), but here's hoping he pulls through and makes a full recovery.



(A tip of the proverbial cap to Sports Scope for the video suggestion)

The Bizarro Hall of Fame: Introducing the Class of 1987

As part of an ongoing project, One More Dying Quail will be profiling the 182 current members of the Bizarro Hall of Fame, an organization that currently exists only in my mind. It was created in the wake of Major League Baseball’s infamous Steroid Era as a way of honoring those players whose careers were perfectly mediocre: the only requirement is that a candidate be listed on the official Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and receive zero votes.

Class of 1987

Jerry Grote – Grote spent sixteen seasons in the major leagues, playing on teams that made four World Series appearances in the ten seasons between 1969 and 1978. He was a National League All-Star with the Mets in 1968 and 1974. He left baseball for two years following the 1978 season, returning in 1981 to appear in 24 games for Kansas City and Los Angeles.

Steve Stone – Three things you should know about Steve Stone, the baseball player: one, his 25-7 record in 1980 won him the American League Cy Young Award and accounted for nearly a quarter of his 107 career wins; two, he was the third best Jewish pitcher in major league history behind Sandy Koufax and Ken Holtzman; and three, he surrendered the only homerun Duane Kuiper hit in nearly 3,400 career at-bats (off-topic: did you know Kuiper was drafted six times, including twice in the second round?)

(Coming soon: the Bizarro Hall of Fame Class of 1986.)

(All Hall of Fame voting results were obtained from the official web site of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Statistical information included in postings for the Bizarro Hall of Fame was, unless otherwise noted, originally compiled by Baseball-Reference.com.)

The Links: So...Does Fitty Get His Damn Crackers Or Not?

They know this is an American football game, right? (Larry Brown Sports)

Chicago's logo for the 2016 Olympics should absolutely include an homage to Mike Ditka (Our Book of Scrap)

The lost art of the stiff-arm (The Extrapolater)

Scoop Jackson should probably attempt to actually read the work of his peers from time to time (The Feed)

Like there was any doubt that this would get a link (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Yankee fans are turning to ancient Greek mythology for comfort (Yanksfan vs. Soxfan)

Without a doubt, the greatest individual effort RFK Stadium has seen all year (Deadspin)

If You Need Inspiration, Look No Further Than Buck O'Neil

Way back in January, I somehow got in my head the misguided idea that One More Dying Quail desperately needed a patron saint, a muse of sorts to whom I could construct a small shrine and provide burnt offerings to in exchange for fame, glory, and a writing style brilliant enough to make the young girls cry.

Or something like that.

Rather than just settle immediately on a person, I decided to do the democratic thing – the AMERICAN thing, gosh dangit – and put it to a vote. Utilizing my fancy new poll creating skills (so easy, a caveman could do it), I tossed five nominees up on the sidebar and asked my loyal readers to help me choose.

Who did you all pick? Dick friggin’ Cheney.

Now, my general political position is that I don’t really have a position on anything (except maybe abortion), but the idea of Cheney as a source of hope and inspiration just felt wrong. And I voted for the guy at least once (maybe twice – I honestly don’t remember. Is that bad?).

So it was back to the drawing board with the whole idea. For starters, I decided that the figure in question had to be dead – it was overlooked in the first vote, but is really kind of a key element in the whole “patron saint” thing. Also, it’s important that the individual in question had lived a life worthy of respect and admiration, if not outright adulation. What can I say, I’m a big fan of heroic types. And finally, some association with sports was key. One More Dying Quail is a sports blog, mainly because sports and related issues are the only things I really feel comfortable discussing.

After spending some time thinking about the situation, it was obvious that there was only one logical candidate, a man who clearly exceeds all three requirements above.

Buck O’Neil lived one of the most amazing lives of any sports figure of the twentieth century, confronting racism, prejudice and ignorance head on without ever allowing the wrongs of the world to cut him too deeply. This was a man who excelled as a player in the Negro Leagues but never had the chance to test his skills in the majors because he was too old (35) by the time Jack Robinson finally demolished the color barrier in 1947. O’Neil dealt with that blow by becoming successful in other areas, emerging as a top major league scout and the first African-American coach in the game.

His defining moment, however, might have been the 2006 Hall of Fame induction ceremony. It was supposed to be O’Neil’s day in the sun, the culmination of a long and distinguished career spent doing what he loved best, the moment that would finally begin to address and set right all the wrongs that had littered his path through the years. It was supposed to be the day a special committee saw the light and elected him to his rightful place in Cooperstown.

They didn’t. They elected the first woman, Newark Eagles owner Effa Manley, but they didn’t elect Buck. It was, quite possibly, the most egregious omission ever for an institution that is consistently criticized for the players that are missing.

The average person would have been devastated, frustrated, angry. What did Buck O’Neil do? He went to Cooperstown and spoke passionately and eloquently about the Negro Leagues that he knew and the players he had played with, the “people that helped build a bridge across the chasm of prejudice, not just the ones like Charley Pride and me that lead across it.” Buck O’Neil honestly believed that his place in baseball history, though important, was no more vital (maybe less so) than that of the thousands of other players who had fought social wrongs in other, perhaps less visible, ways. He might have been a man blessed with the opportunity to lead people, but on that day in upstate New York, he was there to remind everyone that his modern role would have been irrelevant without those who came before him.

One reason for admiring O’Neil stands above all others: his unwillingness to bow to the basest of human emotions and hate those who had prevented him from playing major league baseball or earning a spot in the Hall of Fame. From his speech:

“And I tell you what, they always said to me Buck, I know you hate people for what they did to you or what they did to your folks. I said no, man, I never learned to hate. I hate cancer. Cancer killed my mother. My wife died 10 years ago of cancer – I’m single, ladies. I hate AIDS. A good friend of mine died of AIDS three months ago. I hate AIDS. But I can’t hate a human being because my God never made anything ugly. Now, you can be ugly if you want to, boy, but God didn’t make you that way.”

Then, the man who should have been celebrating his own induction led the assembled crowd in a song about loving one another. It was a simple song, but it made a larger point: the Hall of Fame is nice, and it would have been a great honor to join that select group, but there are more important things in life than having one’s name on a plaque. Buck O’Neil knew he was a good man, right with God and full of love, and that was really all that he needed. Does it get more inspirational than that?

For all of those reasons, and more that I’m surely forgetting, Buck O’Neil is the obvious patron saint of One More Dying Quail. You’ll be seeing his picture up there on the sidebar shortly. Also, I will honor his memory by making it a goal to say hello to any woman wearing a red dress, blessing at least one major leaguer with the nickname “Nancy” and doing my best to love other people (even Dick Cheney). It’s the least I can do.

(Photo credit: ASU Insight)

The Links: The Aspiring Screenwriter Edition

Mike Hopkins must be excited about being named Jim Boeheim's successor at Syracuse (Flyers Fieldhouse)

For some reason, the thought of Larry Fitzgerald having an unnatural obsession with crackers ("'specially free crackers") absolutely cracks me up. I guess that was kind of the point, wasn't it? (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Damn, those are some impressive mustaches (Every Day Should Be Saturday)

At the very least, it should be an improvement over Kei Igawa, right? (Bugs & Cranks)

Forget the controversy over the top spot; Salma Hayek at number 90 is an abomination (Our Book of Scrap)

Something tells me Ichiro's translator stopped listening to him this spring and just started making stuff up (With Leather)

Will Leitch speaks on the upcoming Armageddon-esque war between bloggers and old-school media. Okay, not really (The Starting Five)

Who Is The Tallest Active Shortstop In The Majors? Glad You Asked

After seeing the video of 7’3” Dave Rasmussen’s professional debut for the St. Paul Saints two weekends ago (something tells me he won’t be invited back), I wanted to learn more about the tallest players in major league history. Right away, the Internet told me that the tallest guy ever to put on a big league uniform was Jon Rauch, a fifth year reliever who appeared in 85 games for the Washington Nationals last season.

Rauch is followed on the big and tall list by a trio of 6’10” giants, all pitchers: Arizona’s Randy Johnson (no introduction necessary aside from the words, “future Hall of Famer”), San Diego’s Chris Young and former New York Met Eric Hillman.

After those three, however, the trail runs cold. Yahoo! searches only turn up so much information and Baseball-Reference does not appear to have a search function for this particular feature (although given the massive amount of information on that site, it’s probably either hidden somewhere or in development). So the project changed from a list of the tallest players in major league history to a 25-man roster featuring the tallest active players by position.

And you know what? There’s some big boys playing these days.

As you can see from the list below, the tallest players overall are pitchers – everyone under 6’7” ended up being left out, which was almost a shame because of the relative lack of size at other positions (most notably the middle infield). The biggest problem at many positions was overflow: in the outfield, for instance, there were five players listed at 6’5” or over. In those cases, I made whatever cuts seemed right (sorry Chris Duncan).

If you have anyone to add to this list, or any other historical names to contribute, feel free to send an email or leave a comment. All feedback is appreciated.

Starting Lineup

C – Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins, 6’5” – If Mauer doesn’t stop growing soon, Rauch and company could welcome a newcomer to the top of the beanstalk.

1B – Richie Sexson, Seattle Mariners, 6’8” – My wife loves Richie Sexson because he is the only person she has ever beaten me with when we play Homerun Derby on MVP Baseball 2005.

2B – B.J. Upton, Tampa Bay Devil Rays, 6’3” – He’s actually played more career games at third base, but Upton’s primary position this season has been at second, where he’s played 32 of his 34 games.

3B – Troy Glaus, Toronto Blue Jays, 6’5" – Glaus appeared in eight games at shortstop last season. That’s a big friggin’ shortstop.

SS – Derek Jeter, New York Yankees, 6’3” – The Yankees are in rough shape but Jeter is off to a great start: .375 batting average and .921 OPS in 35 games, and he is on pace to walk more times than he strikes out (16/13 currently) for the first time in his career.

OF – Adam Dunn, Cincinnati Reds, 6’6” – Takes a lot of heat for his huge strikeout numbers (he owns the top two highest single season totals), but also hits forty homeruns and OPSs around .900 every year. Fair trade.

OF – Jermaine Dye, Chicago White Sox, 6’5” – Dye won the World Series MVP in 2005 and followed it with a monster year in 2006 (44 homeruns, 120 RBI, 1.007 OPS). So far, 2007 hasn’t been anything to write home about.

OF – Alex Rios, Toronto Blue Jays, 6’5” – It’s easy to forget how young Rios is (he turned 26 last February). He had an OPS of .865 last year and made his first All-Star Game despite missing over thirty games. Losing his starting spot on the Tall Man Team, possibly to Chris Duncan, is not out of the question, especially if the Blue Jays continue to freefall and malaise sets in.

Reserves

C – Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Atlanta, 6’4” – The guy with the longest name in major league history is also the second tallest active catcher.

1B – Tony Clark, Arizona, 6’7” – After watching him forget how to hit while playing for the Red Sox in 2002, I can never enjoy Tony Clark again.

2B – Don Kelly, Pittsburgh, 6’4” – Even though he’s only played three games at second base in his career (all of them this season), I’d rather have Kelly on my team than the 6’2” Jeff Kent.

3B – Chipper Jones, Atlanta, 6’4” – Baseball-Reference lists him at 6’3”. Yahoo! has him at 6’4”. I don’t know who to believe.

DH – Frank Thomas, Toronto, 6’5” – If you’re scoring at home, this is the third Tall Man Team entry for the Blue Jays.

OF – Corey Hart, Milwaukee, 6’6” – Another guy in danger of losing his roster spot. The only thing keeping him here is his one-inch advantage over Rios, Dye, and Duncan. If any of those guys grows an inch or two, Corey’s gone.

Pitchers

SP – Randy Johnson, Arizona, 6’10” – Can you imagine Johnson pitching in Little League? He probably could get close enough to flip the ball to the catcher.

SP – Chris Young, San Diego, 6’10” – At least he’s right-handed. Johnson terrorized National League lefties for long enough.

SP – Mark Hendrickson, Los Angeles Dodgers, 6’9” – Dabbled in basketball before turning his attention to baseball full-time. He’s off to a pretty good start this season, at 2-0, 2.61 in five starts.

SP – Daniel Cabrera, Baltimore, 6’9” – Listed at 6’7” but the Mauer article cited above mentions that he has sprouted up a couple of inches in recent years, so I’ll go with that.

SP – Jason Hirsh, Colorado, 6’8” – Probably doesn’t belong, especially with Harang and Sabathia behind him on the list. He’s taller than either of them, however, so looks like we’re carrying seven starters for now.

SP – Aaron Harang, Cincinnati, 6’7” – He tied for the National League lead in wins last year with 16, but got no love when the time came to vote for the Cy Young Award.

SP – C.C. Sabathia, Cleveland, 6’7” – According to Baseball-Reference, the historical pitcher most similar to Sabathia is Orlando Hernandez. Does that mean C.C. is gonna pitch into his 60s?

RP – Jon Rauch, Washington, 6’11” – His 85 appearances were second best in the National League last season and he’s already pitched 21 times this year. More importantly, he was born a year and a day before my wife.

RP – Andrew Sisco, Chicago White Sox, 6’10” – The biggest of the big men, Sisco is listed at 270 lbs., twenty more than Rauch and forty more than the other members of the 6’10” club. He appeared in 65+ games in both 2005 and 2006, but they were for Kansas City so I’m not sure they really count.

RP – Kyle Snyder, Boston, 6’8” – Another successful Kansas City first round draft pick: 7-14, 5.71 in four seasons. He’s been good for the Red Sox this season, however, with a 1.98 ERA in twelve appearances.

RP – Kameron Loe, Texas, 6’7” – Neither of his names are what you would expect. Really should be “Cameron Lowe”. Why his middle name isn’t “Davyd” instead of the traditional “David” will always trouble me.

Gary Sheffield = Not So Scary Anymore

I realized something interesting tonight while watching Tim Wakefield crash back down to earth against the Detroit Tigers. For whatever reason, this guy -




- was way scarier than this guy





It's sobering to realize just how much one's impression of an individual player can be influenced by the name on the front of his uniform. When Sheffield came to the plate for the Yankees, it was a terrifying experience. Now, whe he bats for the Tigers, it's not nearly as gut-wrenching.


(Photo credits: Toxic Web Blog and Yahoo!)

The Best Boxing Match In Recent Memory

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what boxing should be: a non-stop slugfest featuring two unbelievably aggressive and fearless fighters intent on beating the hell out of one another. Basically, it should be exciting.

Friday marks the fifth anniversary of the first fight between welterweights Arturo Gatti and Mickey Ward. The ten round battle, won by Ward, earned Ring Magazine's 2002 Fight of the Year honor and prompted two rematches that were nearly as brutal and exciting (the third go-round won the Ring Magazine award for 2003).

(Note: if you're planning on watching this, make sure you grab a beer first and block off some time - the video is over thirty minutes long and includes all ten rounds. I think it's worth the time.)

The Links: Happy Birthday To You...Happy Birthday To You

Brandon Inge is not impressed by the Legend of Daisuke Matsuzaka (Can't Stop The Bleeding)

Texas Gal was at the ballpark for Boston's big come from behind win on Sunday. And that wasn't even the highlight of her day (Ladies...)

The overnight shift at Target is about as low as one can fall professionally. Yes, I speak from experience (The Feed)

All parties involved in the Bob Woolmer case should probably get their facts straight (Rumors and Rants)

Think it might be time for the NCAA to actually start caring about the welfare of its athletes? (Lion in Oil)

You had me at "the Canadian truth as I know it." But "el ouch" and "la foul" didn't hurt (YAY Sports!)

They grow up so fast (Awful Announcing)

Happy Birthday To You: May 14 - May 20

(Baseball birthdays found here have been compiled from the “Frivolities” section at Baseball-Reference.com. All other birthdays were taken from Wikipedia.)

May 14
J.L. Wilkinson (baseball) – 1878
Ed Walsh (baseball) – 1881
Alex Pompez (baseball) – 1890
Earle Combs (baseball) – 1899
Gump Worsley (hockey) – 1929
Tony Perez (baseball) – 1942
George Lucas (director) – 1944
Bob Woolmer (cricket) – 1948
Tony Siragusa (football) – 1967
Cate Blanchett (actress) – 1969
Roy Halladay (baseball) – 1977

May 15
Don Nelson (basketball) – 1940
George Brett (baseball) – 1953
Dan Patrick (broadcaster) – 1956
John Smoltz (baseball) – 1967
Hideki Irabu (baseball) – 1969
Emmitt Smith (football) – 1969
Ray Lewis (football) – 1975
Ryan Leaf (football) – 1976
Josh Beckett (baseball) – 1980
Justin Morneau (baseball) – 1981
Jamie Lynn-Sigler (actress) – 1981

May 16
Liberace (entertainer) – 1919
Billy Martin (baseball) – 1928
Pierce Brosnan (actor) – 1953
Thurman Thomas (football) – 1966
Janet Jackson (entertainer) – 1966
Gabriela Sabatini (tennis) – 1970

May 17
Cool Papa Bell (baseball) – 1903
Dennis Hopper (actor) – 1936
Sugar Ray Leonard (boxing) – 1956
Bob Saget (actor) – 1956
Jim Nantz (broadcaster) – 1959
Tony Parker (basketball) – 1982

May 18
Pope John Paul II (religious leader) – 1920
Brooks Robinson (baseball) – 1937
Reggie Jackson (baseball) – 1946
Chow Yun-Fat (actor) – 1955
Jari Kurri (hockey) – 1960
Yannick Noah (tennis) – 1960
Tina Fey (actress) – 1970
Rich Garces (baseball) – 1971
Vince Young (football) – 1983

May 19
Ho Chi Minh (Vietnamese leader) – 1890
Malcolm X (civil rights activist) – 1925
Pol Pot (Cambodian dictator) – 1925
Dolph Schayes (basketball) – 1928
Peter Mayhew (actor) – 1944
Andre the Giant (pro wrestling) – 1946
Archie Manning (football) – 1949
Bill Laimbeer (basketball) – 1957
Kevin Garnett (basketball) – 1976

May 20
James Stewart (actor) – 1908
Hal Newhouser (baseball) – 1921
Bud Grant (football) – 1927
Jack Kevorkian (suicide doctor) – 1928
Sadaharu Oh (baseball) – 1940
Carlos Hathcock (Marine sniper) – 1942
David Wells (baseball) – 1963
Tony Stewart (auto racing) – 1971

Mark Zupan (rugby) – 1975

(Photos: Hollywood Boulevard and Messed Up)

The Links: Will The Last One To Leave Blogger Please Turn Off The Light?

Channel 4 News Team member and fellow Awful Announcing weekend contributor Extrapolater proves all the naysayers wrong (The Extrapolater)

Why isn't O.J. Simpson suing the owner of the restaurant that refused him service the night before the Kentucky Derby? (Pay special attention to some of the EPIC comments on this post) (The FanHouse)

At least he has a great view (Yanksfan vs. Soxfan)

Is the Stanger estate included in this lawsuit, or is it not as fun to sue dead people who didn't leave millions of dollars behind? (USA Today)

Tank's out of jail. Next challenge: convincing Goodell he's a changed man (With Leather)

Portland messed up in the 1984 draft, but not the way you think (Classic Cola For The Soul)

Who doesn't appreciate a good double entendre? (Fire Joe Morgan)

Ever read something and not really be sure if you wanted to laugh, cry or throw up? (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Those guys that are working on creating an entirely new Internet need to put that project on hold and start creating an entirely new language; there's entirely too much stuff that can be construed as offensive in the ones we've got (The Feed)

Funny...I didn't hear Chipper complaining when the Braves were the dominant team in this "rivalry". Take the bad with the good, Larry (Signal to Noise)

Nothing like seeing "Jose Rijo", "2002", "no-hitter" and "mystifies" in the same paragraph (Diamond Hoggers)

Those are some LONG legs (Ump Bump)

The Links: Antonio Banderas Might Be A Vampire

Whatever happened to Roger Federer? (The Big Lead)

Pure, unfiltered genius (The Big Picture)

There probably isn't a blogger who is better qualified to address this situation than Matt Ufford (With Leather)

What has Antonio Banderas done to Melanie Griffith? (Our Book of Scrap)

In January, I wrote about some of the circumstances under which a player might hit .400; Bugs & Cranks has a few guys who might fit the bill (Bugs & Cranks)

Hey Greg, remember that playoff game where Jordan dropped 63 on the Celtics in the Garden? Um, yeah...me either (Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician)

One year after getting started at Fox Sports, a blogger reminds us why we do this (Shots from the Dark Side)

Kaibutsu will definitely need to cut down on those lengthy bullpen sessions if he expects to last this long (Yanksfan vs. Soxfan)

Crazy People Always Have Three Names

I’m going to give you a short list of names. You tell me what they have in common (this information was already posted here earlier this week. It’s called a pop quiz, faithful readers):

John Wilkes Booth
Pat Summerall
Chris Berman
Mark David Chapman
Bono
Lisa Nowak

Give up? Here’s your answer – they were all born on May 10.

Summerall and Bono are okay. Pat seems to have aged fairly well as a broadcaster and Bono is on number four of his Twelve Step Plan For World Peace. Take them away, however, and what are we left with?

Three crazy people and Chris Berman.

Two of the three nut jobs are well known murderers: Booth became the first person to successfully assassinate a United States president when he shot Abraham Lincoln five days after the end of the Civil War in 1865 and Chapman gunned down John Lennon outside his apartment building in 1980. The third, Nowak, wanted to be a kidnapper-and-possibly-a-murderer so badly that she drove 800 miles across the Gulf of Mexico (that’s the way it looked on the news channels, anyway – a big ol’ arrow right across the Gulf, ostensibly showing her exact route), but couldn’t finish the job (come on, pepper spray? You’re better than that, Lisa).

As if that isn’t enough, May 10 was also the historical date on which serial killer John Wayne Gacy and cop killer Lynda Lyon Block were executed for their crimes. Oh happy day…

And then there’s Christopher James Berman, who very well might be insane but has never, to my knowledge, killed anyone. He has, however, tortured audiences for years with his “Bermanisms” (which really aren’t bad if taken in moderation), his alter ego “The Swami” and annual broadcast of Major League Baseball’s Homerun Derby. Even his most famous line is evidence of some chemical imbalance. Seriously, who walks up to a girl in a bar – especially one being actively worked on by another guy; isn’t that a major Man Law violation of some sort? – drops four words (five if you don’t believe in contractions) and manages to pull it off? A lunatic, that’s who.

This post has spiraled completely out of control, so let me just finish by saying this: Happy Birthday, Christopher James Berman (sorry it’s a little late). Enjoy your leather and please, try to be more like Pat.

(Before I go, an apology is probably in order for my mother, who celebrated a birthday on Wednesday and received virtually no public acknowledgement from her third (and favorite) child, an ungrateful young man who chose instead to devote an entire post to Chris Berman and a bunch of nut jobs. Sorry Mom – if it makes you feel better, I’ve got some ideas kicking around in my head for a good “Why my mom is great” post. You are so gonna cry.)

The Bizarro Hall Of Fame: Introducing The Class Of 1988

As part of an ongoing project, One More Dying Quail will be profiling the 182 current members of the Bizarro Hall of Fame, an organization that currently exists only in my mind. It was created in the wake of Major League Baseball’s infamous Steroid Era as a way of honoring those players whose careers were perfectly mediocre: the only requirement is that a candidate be listed on the official Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and receive zero votes.

(This ran a little long, so begin reading at your own risk. Thankfully, the next four classes are more manageable.)

Class of 1988

Stan Bahnsen – Bahnsen won the American League Rookie of the Year award as the second-best pitcher for a fifth place Yankees team in 1968, finishing the year 17-12 with a 2.05 ERA. He later won 39 games between the 1972 and 1973 seasons, a number that would have been more impressive had it not been coupled with 37 losses in the same time frame. Near the end of his career, he was a part of the same Montreal bullpen as Woodie Fryman (Bizarro ’89).

Ross Grimsley – A second-generation major league pitcher (his father, Ross Sr., appeared in seven games for the 1951 White Sox), Grimsley was yet another Bizarro Hall of Famer who played for the Montreal Expos of the late 1970s. He won twenty games for Les Expos in 1978, completing 19 of his 36 starts and striking out an impressive 84 in 263 innings.

Larry Hisle – Two years after finishing fourth in the 1969 Rookie of the Year voting, Hisle posted a .493 OPS and was traded three times in a thirteen month span. The third deal sent him to Minnesota, where he enjoyed a five-year stretch of double-digit homeruns that culminated in a 28/119/.302 season in 1977. He left for Milwaukee as a free agent after the season and immediately paid dividends, hitting 34 homeruns, driving in 115 runs and finishing third in the AL MVP voting.

Grant Jackson – After a two-season experiment that saw him start 58 games for Philadelphia, Jackson worked almost exclusively out of the bullpen for the final twelve years of his career. His value in that role was undeniable: twice he went undefeated for a playoff-bound team (8-0, 9 saves, 1.90 ERA for the 1973 Orioles; 6-0, 1.69 for the 1976 Yankees) and performed admirably in the postseason, but finally got his ring in 1979 as one of Pittsburgh’s top bullpen options (8-5, 14 saves, 2.96).

Randy Jones – The San Diego Padres lost 180 games during the 1975 and 1976 seasons, but fans of the team were not completely deprived. Young outfielder Dave Winfield was only a year or two away from busting out (and bolting for New York) and displaying the form that earned him a spot in the Hall of Fame, while Randy Jones was a trusted option to take the hill every fourth day. As of right now, Jones is the only Bizarro Hall of Famer with more than one twenty win season to his credit; he reached that total twice, finishing second in the National League Cy Young award voting in 1975 (20-12, 2.24) and winning in 1976 (22-14, 2.74).

John Mayberry – Strange but true fact: two of the Kansas City Royals three best hitters did not make the American League All-Star team in 1975. The lucky guy who got to make the trip to Milwaukee was future BHOFer and Royals manager Hal McRae, who carried a .310 batting average into the break. Staying home were a 22-year-old kid named George Brett (the next year, Brett won the batting title, played in the All-Star game and finished second for MVP) and a 6’3”, 220 lb. first baseman named John Mayberry. In fairness, while two-time All-Star Mayberry enjoyed the best year of his career (34 homeruns, 106 RBI, .291 BA), he didn’t really take off until July, slugging twelve homeruns in the month en route to a second place finish in the MVP voting. He later hit 20+ homers in three straight seasons for Toronto, including 30 in 1980, before finishing up with the Yankees in 1982.

Lynn McGlothen – McGlothen showed promise as a 24-year-old pitcher with the 1974 St. Louis Cardinals, finishing 16-12 with a 2.69 ERA, but he had trouble duplicating that modest success later in his career. He was killed in a fire in 1984.

Doc Medich – If my name was George Frances, I’d want a nickname like Doc too. After appearing in one game in 1972 and exiting after zero innings and two runs with an infinite ERA, Medich rebounded to win 14 games and challenge for the Rookie of the Year award (won by Al Bumbry) the following season. In 1974, he won 19 games for the Yankees. Due to a strange combination of free agency, waivers and contract purchases, he played for five teams from 1976 to 1978.

John Milner – “The Hammer”, whose cousin Eddie played in the majors for nine seasons, was a career .249 hitter. In ten World Series games, however, he managed a .306 mark (11-for-36; only one of the hits was for extra bases).

Willie Montanez – I honestly don’t know where to start with Montanez. He played for nine teams in fourteen seasons. He was traded eight times, including once for Garry Maddox, straight up; once as part of a mammoth four team, eleven player deal that included John Milner, Bert Blyleven, Jon Matlack, Al Oliver, and Tom Grieve; again for Milner, this time straight up; once for Gaylord Perry and two other players; and, most famously, he was one of two players shipped from St. Louis to Philadelphia in 1970 when Curt Flood refused to report to the Phillies. Yeesh. If you want to know about his stats (which includes a second place finish for 1971 Rookie of the Year with 30 homeruns, then never again enjoying a single season that was nearly as good), just click the link.

Joe Rudi – Rudi was a three-time All-Star, three-time Gold Glover and two-time MVP runner-up. A key member of Oakland’s three consecutive World Series victories in the early 1970s, he hit an even .300 with two homeruns in those Fall Classics.

Jim Spencer – A career .250 hitter, Spencer owned fellow BHOFers Doyle Alexander and Stan Bahnsen, hitting .448 and .350 against them, respectively. His grandfather, Ben Spencer, played for the Washington Senators in 1913.

Del Unser – A light-hitting outfielder, Unser lost out on the 1968 AL ROY award to Stan Bahnsen. The son of former major leaguer Al Unser, he hit .455 and picked up a World Series ring in limited postseason action for the 1980 Phillies.

Rick Wise – One of the more interesting characters with which I crossed paths during my brief stay in professional baseball, “Owl Man” won 188 games in eighteen seasons before traveling the minor leagues as a pitching coach. His major league career is best remembered for four things: in 1971, he became the first (and only) pitcher to pitch a no-hitter and hit two homeruns in the same game; in 1972, he was traded, straight up, for Hall of Famer Steve Carlton; in 1975, he was the winning pitcher when Carlton Fisk hit his famous homerun off of Fenway Park’s left field foul pole; and in 1978, he was involved in the deal that brought Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley to Boston. That’s a career. Also, if he happens to read this (which I’m not sure will happen, because I don’t think he knows how to use the Internet): Hi Rick (Nashua Pride, 2003 Media Relations – come on, you remember me).

(Coming soon: the Bizarro Hall of Fame Class of 1987.)

(All Hall of Fame voting results were obtained from the official web site of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Statistical information included in postings for the Bizarro Hall of Fame was, unless otherwise noted, originally compiled by Baseball-Reference.com.)

The Links: Of Moles And Men

Carlos, please don't go...you're all we've got (Hi-Plains Drifter)

If Rickey is in half the shape now that Rickey was in four years ago, then Rickey definitely could play in the majors (Riding with Rickey)

My theory on George Mitchell: he sits around the house in his underwear all day, watching CNBC, Lifetime and Univision, before realizing that it's five o'clock and he has to actually work on this whole "steroid investigation" thing. So he makes a couple of calls, throws out a couple of names to the media, and calls it a day (Signal to Noise)

No exaggeration: the Red Sox could have the best announcing duo in baseball (Awful Announcing)

An impressively in-depth interview about Japanese baseball (The Extrapolater)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay, it's really not that bad (Ben Maller)

Get an exorcist! Rob Deer has invaded Richie Sexson's body (Larry Brown Sports)

Even celebrity villains and voles can learn from this post (Mets Guy in Michigan)

Sonny Liston, Revisited

Had he not died under mysterious circumstances in December 1970, Sonny Liston would have celebrated his 75th birthday on May 8. For that reason, this week's YouTube selection is a nearly ten minute reel of the fight that put Liston in the record books: his dismantling of heavyweight champion Floyd Patterson on September 25, 1962.



Liston destroyed Patterson again the following year to retain the title and solidify his reputation as the most feared fighter alive. His legend was derailed in 1964, however, by a title defense against Cassius Clay, the future Muhammad Ali, who not only beat Liston for the championship, but took away the champ's status as an invincible wrecking machine by causing him to quit on his stool after the seventh round. The May 1965 rematch was even worse: following a postponement that caused the fight to be moved from Boston, Massachusetts to Lewiston, Maine, Ali finished Liston off with a controversial first round knockout.

The Links: Ooooh, Shiny!

Hideki Irabu is a simple man who likes simp - hey, a quarter (The Baseball Card Blog)

World History Blog celebrates a monumental achievement (World History Blog)

An interview with one of the judges from the De La Hoya-Mayweather fight (Larry Brown Sports)

Jorge Reyes is gonna have some free time this summer (Babes Love Baseball)

Delmon Young: Fear him! (On The Show)

Rick Dempsey should probably start thinking before he opens his mouth and words start falling out (Oriole Post)

Some people just can't catch a break (Just Call Me Juice)

Another senseless loss of life (Rumors and Rants)

Good thing that double play came when it did, or things might have gotten out of hand (The FanHouse)

The NBA playoffs are taking SLAM magazine completely by surprise (TrueHoop)

I refuse to believe that Mr. Belding could have broken up this fight (The Hater Nation)

A Week Of Birthdays: May 7 - May 13

(Baseball birthdays found here have been compiled from the “Frivolities” section at Baseball-Reference.com. All other birthdays were taken from Wikipedia.)

Two special mentions this week: my nephew Patrick turns eight on Tuesday and my mother celebrates her ___ on Wednesday (hint: she was born the same day as Billy Joel – and never lets anyone forget it).

May 7
Gary Cooper (actor) – 1901
Johnny Unitas (football) – 1933
Shawn Marion (basketball) – 1978

May 8
Dan Brouthers (baseball) – 1858
Harry Truman (U.S. president) – 1884
Edd Roush (baseball) – 1893
Turkey Stearnes (baseball) – 1901
Sonny Liston (boxing) – 1932
Bill Cowher (football) – 1957

May 9
Calvin Murphy (basketball) – 1948
Billy Joel (singer) – 1949
Tony Gwynn (baseball) – 1960
Steve Yzerman (hockey) – 1965

May 10
John Wilkes Booth (assassin) – 1838
Ed Barrow (baseball) – 1868
Pat Summerall (football) – 1930
Chris Berman (broadcaster) – 1955
Mark David Chapman (assassin) – 1955
Bono (singer) – 1960
Lisa Nowak (astronaut) – 1963

May 11
Charlie Gehringer (baseball) – 1903
Nestor Chylak (baseball) – 1922

May 12
Katharine Hepburn (actress) – 1907
Yogi Berra (baseball) – 1925
Felipe Alou (baseball) – 1935
Johnny Bucyk (hockey) – 1935
Tony Hawk (skateboarding) – 1968
Mike Weir (golf) – 1970
Jim Furyk (golf) – 1970

May 13
Joe Louis (boxing) – 1914
Bea Arthur (actress) – 1923
Dennis Rodman (basketball) – 1961
Mike Bibby (basketball) – 1978
Barry Zito (baseball) - 1978

The Links: They'll Televise Anything These Days

Televising Major League Baseball's draft is a great idea, right? Maybe not so much (Signal to Noise)

A Red Sox fan yearns for closure and realizes it might never come (Yanksfan vs. Soxfan)

One minicamp down, and John Beck has failed to impress (The Feed)

A will and testament that sets the gold standard for all wills and testaments to come (Dawg Sports)

As someone who doesn't know more than twenty words of Spanish yet still spends hours at a stretch watching the Spanish language channels on television, I fully support this idea (Our Book of Scrap)

Barbaro, driving Kentucky Derby interest from beyond the grave (The FanHouse)

Anybody who says Daisuke Matsuzaka just hasn't been himself this year doesn't fully understand the situation (Bugs & Cranks)

Ah, Wings...great show (Why Don't We Get Drunk and Blog)

Yankees And Mariners Say "Screw Baseball - We're Playing Touch Football Tonight."

Not only was the final score of tonight's Mariners-Yankees game 15-11, not only did Derek Jeter's hitting streak come to an end (he went 0-for-6 and grounded out to end the game with the bases loaded), not only did Seattle score eight runs in the fifth inning, but Mike Myers pitched FOUR innings of relief. This is a guy who has never had more innings pitched than games worked in his entire career. Ever. He's a modern day Tony Fossas, a lefty specialist who comes in, gets his guy, and calls it a day.

How could this have happened? I have three possible scenarios:

a) After trying Kei Igawa, Colter Bean and Luis Vizcaino, Joe Torre finally received divine word from the Baseball Gods that tonight was Myers' night. Alas, the word came too late, and his one run allowed in four innings was offset by the aforementioned trio, which surrendered fourteen runs in five innings. The Baseball Gods are always pulling crap like this, withholding key information until it's too late.

b) At the start of the sixth inning, Torre looked at the scoreboard, looked at his bullpen, and decided, "Fuck it. I'm not wasting anyone else. Hope Myers is feeling strong tonight, or we might be here awhile."

c) Torre fell asleep on the bench after bringing Myers into the game and didn't wake up until it was over.

It's tempting to believe that Joe Torre actually has a direct line to Baseball Heaven, but Option C has to be the most likely choice. He probably drifted off and Mattingly just didn't have the heart to wake him.

Meanwhile, in Minnesota...

Big Papi goes deep, Tim Wakefield throws seven scoreless, the infield defense makes some great plays, Papelbon gets the save...yep, all is right in the world.

Has It Been Four Years Already?

(Credit: Wikipedia)

Certain Things Are Just Unacceptable

On Wednesday, I was in the car with a friend from work when a random comment caused her to stop in mid-sentence, look me square in the eye (while driving, mind you), and say, "Do NOT say that again. That is NOT okay."

Whatever the offending phrase was (I think it was the word "sneakles", which really isn't offensive at all when you get right down to it. Completely nonsensical, yes; offensive, not so much - good thing she was kidding around), it wasn't half as painful and awkward as the opening paragraph of the latest Bill Simmons column on ESPN. I'm one of those potentially misguided souls who genuinely enjoys Simmons' work and looks forward to his writing, but this scared the hell out of me:

"It's easy to discount the spiritual impact of basketball crowds if you haven't attended a playoff game with special fans before. There's no way to understand it unless it definitely has happened to you. Then you know. As strange as this sounds, it's like a woman being unable to tell whether she's ever had an orgasm.If she thinks it might have happened, or it felt like it kind of happened one time ... it didn't happen. When it happens, they know. Then they feel stupid for all the other times when they thought it had happened."

Bill, do NOT say that again. That is NOT okay.

Also, can somebody please tell me when exactly Golden State's fans became one of the two "special" crowds in the NBA, because it seems like it only happened when they made the playoffs this year and jumped all over the Mavericks. In short, around the time Baron Davis became one of the fifty greatest players in league history.

Housekeeping!

After weeks of procrastination, a number of new links have been added to the blogroll, currently located on the left side of your computer screen. Read them...cherish them...dare I say, love them.

While I'm doing some spring cleaning, how 'bout some links? I've highlighted a few things over the past couple of weeks that are a little old, but too good to pass up. Apologies for the lateness - I think you'll enjoy anyway.

On Josh Hancock and bad reporting (Bread and Circuses)

Anyone else find it funny that Marty Miller's official title was "Director of Performance Enhancement"? They couldn't have tacked a "Substances" onto the end of that? (The New York Times)

A custom search engine that returns steroid-related results only? I like it (Baseball's Steroid Era)

Wow, an Eagles fan who actually did some homework before booing his team's first draft pick. Wacky twist: he actually likes the selection (Run Up The Score!)

Signal to Noise's douchebaggery label was invented for stories like this (USA Today On Deadline)

This is frighteningly accurate. All he needs is the white cat and a Japanese sidekick named Odd Job (With Leather)

Akinori Iwamura was REPRESENTIN' (people still say that, right?) for my fantasy baseball team early in the season. Then he got hurt, leaving me with Pete Orr as my only third base option. I like Iwamura, but I hate his oblique muscle (The Extrapolater)

Don't worry - the audio will probably get "accidentally" cut again when Bonds breaks Aaron's record (WBRS Sports Blog)

I would put this team up against the 2007 Royals any day of the week and twice on Sunday (I miss scheduled doubleheaders) (Royals Retrospective)

Finally, if you haven't done so yet, make a point to read The Noise Ratio Signal to Noise. I don't have any one link to highlight (aside from the "douchebaggery" label above), but he's been doing some outstanding work over there for the past couple of months. I consider 35 posts a good month - he TRIPLED that in April, and it's all quality stuff.

Touching Third Base Without The Express Written Consent Of Mike Lowell Is Strictly Prohibited

It's an old, but relevant, picture. Old Man Mike is hurt again.

The injury happened in the sixth inning of the Red Sox-Athletics game at Fenway Park tonight. With two down and Piazza on second, Bobby Crosby rapped a groundball down the third base line. Mike Lowell made the backhand play and opted against the long, risky throw across the diamond, instead challenging Piazza to a footrace to the bag.

The two arrived at the base simultaneously and chose to reenact the climactic scene from Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, where two trains run into one another in a violent head on collision. Lowell was Steven Seagal; Pizza was Eric Bogosian. Guess who won?

No word yet on the extent of Piazza's injury, but it didn't look encouraging. His shoulder was definitely a major source of discomfort (better than the severe groin pull he was dealing with in the above picure, at least) as he headed to the clubhouse, presumably done for the night.

On a (probably not) related note, in the next inning Oakland's Jay Marshall threw behind The Beard before plunking him on the right calf. The Beard, in his frustration, fell down; stood up; briefly considered charging the mound; decided against it; spotted the ball on the ground several feet away; proceeded to golf the ball back toward the middle of the infield; ran down to first; tried to forget the whole thing happened.

(That Steven Seagal link above is from Out For Justice. It's just a wee bit NSFW, but it accurately captured the amazingness that was Seagal's early years.)

(Photo: Scout.com)

Checks And Balances - How Is My Preseason Preview Looking So Far?

Predicted American League East
Boston Red Sox
New York Yankees
Toronto Blue Jays
Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Baltimore Orioles

Actual American League East
Boston Red Sox
Toronto Blue Jays
Baltimore Orioles
Tampa Bay Devil Rays
New York Yankees

How am I doing? The Sox are off to a great start, but who could have foreseen the pitching woes of the Yankees?

Predicted American League Central
Detroit Tigers
Minnesota Twins
Cleveland Indians
Chicago White Sox
Kansas City Royals

Actual American League Central
Cleveland Indians
Detroit Tigers
Minnesota Twins
Chicago White Sox
Kansas City Royals

How am I doing? The top three teams are tied with fifteen wins apiece, but three fewer losses thus far have the Indians in first.

Predicted American League West
Oakland Athletics
Los Angeles Angels
Texas Rangers
Seattle Mariners

Actual American League West
Los Angeles Angels
Seattle Mariners
Oakland Athletics
Texas Rangers

How am I doing? Not a single team in the right spot, but I have to stand by the original decision: Oakland is winning the division.

AL MVP: David Ortiz, Boston (.302, 7 HR, 22 RBI, 1.006 OPS) – If Alex Rodriguez continues to hit and the Yankees become even mildly competitive, the award is his.

AL Cy Young: Johan Santana, Minnesota (3-2, 3.60 ERA, 44 K) – Hasn’t looked like himself, especially at home, but history indicates that he will get better as the season progresses.

AL Rookie of the Year: Delmon Young, Tampa Bay (.260, 4, 14, .707) – Hideki Okajima won the Rookie of the Month honors, but what are the odds of a middle reliever winning ROY? Not good

Predicted National League East
Philadelphia Phillies
New York Mets
Florida Marlins
Atlanta Braves
Washington Nationals

Actual National League East
Atlanta Braves
New York Mets
Florida Marlins
Philadelphia Phillies
Washington Nationals

How am I doing? Not too shabby – all you have to do is flip Atlanta and Philly and it’s right on the mark.

Predicted National League Central
Chicago Cubs
Milwaukee Brewers
St. Louis Cardinals
Houston Astros
Cincinnati Reds
Pittsburgh Pirates

Actual National League Central
Milwaukee Brewers
Cincinnati Reds
Pittsburgh Pirates
Chicago Cubs
Houston Astros
St. Louis Cardinals

How am I doing? Wanted to put the Brewers in the top spot – maybe I should’ve. How ‘bout a do-over on the Cubs?

Predicted National League West
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Diego Padres
San Francisco Giants
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks

Actual National League West
Los Angeles Dodgers
Arizona Diamondbacks
San Francisco Giants
San Diego Padres
Colorado Rockies

How am I doing? At least the Dodgers are in first. Fun fact: San Diego’s Mike Cameron, who once hit four homeruns in one game, has none in 106 at-bats so far.

NL MVP: Albert Pujols, St. Louis (.260, 6, 15, .839) – Is it sacrilegious to suggest that Barry Bonds deserves the award at this point?

NL Cy Young: Roy Oswalt, Houston (3-2, 3.43, 27) – Not bad, not great. I’d take Jake Peavy at this point, but also wouldn’t discount the chances for a big second half from Oswalt.

NL Rookie of the Year: Josh Hamilton, Cincinnati (.265, 6, 14, .963) – The feel-good story of the season so far. Is there anyone who doesn’t want to see this guy succeed?

I'm So Happy This Clip Was On YouTube

Seriously, words can't adequately portray how happy I am. "Delighted" might come closest.

This video is from The Wanderers, a 1979 movie about New York City street gangs that was practically played on a loop by Bravo during my formative years in the early 1990s. It's probably the best scene in the movie, challenged only by a somewhat disappointing strip poker scene in which Karen Allen managed to retain far too many of her clothes.



Both YouTube members who posted the clip touched on this point already, but it bears repeating: Emilio OWNS this scene. From ripping a board off the bench and snapping it with his bare hands, to using a rival gang member as a weapon, to knocking the crap out of his own kid at the end of the fight, to screaming "Sons of bitches!" soundlessly AND in slow motion - the man was amazing.