Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Buy These Products, And You Too Can Hit Like A Major Leaguer

I still have vivid memories of being a kid and seeing the commercial for the instructional videos featuring Fred McGriff and Tom Emanski (not that memory is all I have; the commercial still airs regularly in its original form). McGriff was one of my favorite players in the early 1990s (I used him to hit something like .447 in one of the early Ken Griffey, Jr. games for Super Nintendo. I know, I know - lame), while Emanski was the heroic and possibly mythical figure who developed a series of drills to lead his AAU teams to back-to-back-to-back championships and built an empire from that single commercial.

The Emanski commercial doesn't seem to be available on YouTube, but the site contains no shortage of instructional video advertisements from a variety of current professional ballplayers. Here are three of the best:

Why you should love this video: It might just be me, but he sounds an awful lot like the "former crackhead-turned magazine salesman" in "Office Space".

Why you probably shouldn't use the advertised product: Jason Dubois uses it, and he is a career .233 hitter at the major league level.

Why you should love this video: The Quick Swing will help you, or your son, daughter, or grandchild develop a short, quick, compact swing AND a higher batting average. Don't bother trying it with nieces, nephews, family friends, farm animals or household pets, because it won't work.

Why you probably shouldn't use the advertised product: It "forces the hitter to react to a moving ball". Explain this to me again - how is that any different from tossing a ball up in the air and hitting it?

Why you should love this video: They hired an actor who had obviously never thrown a baseball before; ten seconds in, he throws the ball off the wrong foot.

Why you probably shouldn't use the advertised product: Besides the fact that those glasses look ridiculous? Because it's common knowledge that creatine and Colorado, not a pair of fancy-schmancy sunglasses, made Todd Helton a great hitter.

1 Comment:

Lou P. said...

My favorite part was when McGriff looked at the camera and said something to the effect of, "This is the videotape that delivers results!"