Welcome to the Bizarro Hall of Fame: Introducing the Class of 2007

There was an episode of Seinfeld in the mid-1990s where George Costanza, the perennially downtrodden friend of the title character, decided that the main problem in his life was the fact that his instincts were always wrong. In an attempt to shake things up, he began doing the exact opposite of whatever felt “right”, whether it meant approaching a beautiful woman or standing up for himself, and his quality of life took an immediate turn for the better.

I thought of this episode earlier tonight after reading yet another article about the Baseball Hall of Fame and the perceived incompetence of its voters, who committed a variety of wrongs that ranged from not electing Cal Ripken, Jr. unanimously to casting ballots for Dante Bichette, Jay Buhner and Ken Caminiti. Given the backlash that surrounds virtually everything they do in connection with the Hall of Fame, the members of the Baseball Writers Association of America, the body entrusted with the honor of selecting Cooperstown’s newest residents, might serve themselves well by taking a page out of Costanza’s book and voting for the exact opposite of the obvious choices.

Because this idea intrigued me, and I obviously have too much time on my hands, I took a run through the voting results on the Hall of Fame web site and found the players who could probably be considered the polar opposite of what we think of as a Hall of Famer: those who were listed on the ballot but failed to collect a single vote. There were 182 players who fit that bill, all of them in the last thirty years (although there are about a million one vote wonders in the thirty years before that), with a single-election high of 29 in 1980.

I’ve never really run a regular feature here before, with the possible exception of the weekly update on the winless college football teams in November, but this stood out as being worthy of being the first. It’ll take some time to get through everybody, and there's a good chance that not all of us will survive, but the 182 members of what I have lovingly taken to calling the “Bizarro Hall of Fame” will be recognized for their (lack of) achievements. The most recent “inductees”, the Class of 2007, are below:

2007 (4)
Scott Brosius – I never realized this, but apparently Brosius led the 1998 New York Yankees, one of the greatest teams of all time, in win shares. Scholars have yet to determine how the hell this happened.

Wally Joyner – The guy who finished second to Jose Canseco in the 1986 Rookie of the Year voting. Like Canseco, he gave steroids a try, but quit upon discovering that they made him feel icky.

Bobby Witt – Voters were obviously not impressed by his career record of 142-157 and 4.83 earned run average. I was not impressed by the fact that he was not, as originally suspected, Mike Witt’s brother.

Devon White – It’s surprising that nobody threw him a courtesy vote, especially since he was regarded as a great defensive centerfielder. Some observers considered his catch in the 1992 World Series, which nearly resulted in a triple play for the Blue Jays, to be at least equal to Willie Mays’ famed play in 1954.

Coming soon: the Bizarro Hall of Fame's Class of 2006.