The Best Nicknames In Sports

There has been many an article written about the lost art of the sports nickname, all of which say the same thing: athletes just don’t have nicknames like they used to. To an extent, they have a point: modern nicknames are, for the most part, boring and unimaginative, a sea of T-Macs and A-Rods that seems to differ greatly from a past list that includes such classics as Cy, Schoolboy and Babe.

Still, I’m happy to say that nicknames are not dead. There are many bad ones out there today, of course, but the last twenty years have seen some great ones as well, monikers that truly capture the essence of a particular player’s impact on his chosen sports.

The list below encompasses players from the four major sports in the U.S. (as well as one that falls a little outside the box) and all levels of talent. I tried to limit myself to names that were unique to an individual, which meant classics like Sugar or Babe were out, as well as ones that were more than a set of initials, as tempting as it was to include MJ. These are in no real order, although an attempt was made to provide a general flow from the really good to the great to the all-time best.

20. Hibachi (Gilbert Arenas) – Not so much a nickname as a war cry used by the Wizards guard when he wants to let the world know that he’s on fire, its revelation in early December prompted The Mighty MJD to write on Deadspin, “Gilbert Arenas is a fountain of awesomeness that will never run dry…I could dedicate the next week of my life trying to come up with something to yell when I take a jumpshot, and I couldn’t come up with anything as cool as ‘Hibachi!’”

19. Mr. Hockey (Gordie Howe) – A player that even the most casual sports fan recognizes, Howe earned his nickname with a career that spanned 32 seasons in three different leagues (the USHL, NHL and WHA), including 26 in the NHL. He could do virtually everything on the ice, from putting the puck in the net to playing tough physically, talents that led him to become the greatest points scorer in league history not named Gretzky and earned him a second nickname – “Mr. Elbows”.

18. The Iron Horse (Lou Gehrig) – There are few nicknames that are more apt in their description of a player than “The Iron Horse”, earned by Gehrig during his then-record streak of 2,130 consecutive games played. A constant but quiet superstar in the Yankees lineup for fourteen full seasons, he served as a link between the eras more closely associated with two brighter stars, Babe Ruth and Joe DiMaggio, while still leaving his own legacy of strength and toughness on the game.

17. Refrigerator (William Perry) – By today’s standards, Perry’s immense size (6’2, as much as 370 pounds) would not be considered exceptional – the standard for linemen on both sides of the ball has risen above 300 pounds, with players such as Cleveland Browns defensive tackle Ted Washington listed at 365 (and probably more). “The Refrigerator”, however, was a phenomenon in his own time, rising to prominence as a member of the great Chicago Bears defenses of the mid-1980s and possibly starting the trend of using defensive players on the offensive side of the ball in goal line situations.

16. Round Mound of Rebound (Charles Barkley) – For all the talk of the unique abilities of players like Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson, it is very likely that basketball will never again see another player like Barkley, who managed to play (and excel) at the power forward position despite standing somewhere between 6’4” and 6’6”. He followed up his Hall of Fame playing days with a second career as a TV analyst with a reputation for outspokenness.

15. Shoeless Joe (Joe Jackson) – One of the most tragic players in baseball history, Joe Jackson was also the owner of one of the sport’s greatest nicknames, earning the name “Shoeless” when, as a young player, he took off a pair of spikes that hurt his feet and played the outfield wearing only socks. Thanks to his involvement in the Black Sox Scandal of 1919, which led to placement on the ineligible list the following year, Jackson is the only major leaguer since 1900 to hit .400 in a season and not be a member of the Hall of Fame.

14. The Assassin (Jack Tatum) – As a hard-hitting defensive back in the 1970s, Tatum’s reputation was enhanced by his involvement in one of the most famous and one of the most infamous plays in NFL history: he delivered the hit on Frenchy Fuqua that jarred the ball loose and enabled Franco Harris to make the “Immaculate Reception” in a 1972 playoff game, then in a preseason game six years later doled out what is described by virtually every source as a “vicious” shot to the Patriots Darryl Stingley, seriously injuring Stingley’s spinal cord and leaving him paralyzed from the chest down.

13. His Heinous (Bill Laimbeer) – “Bill Laimbeer was one of the most notorious players ever to throw an elbow, thrust a hip, or feign being fouled.” And that’s from the league’s official bio on the former Detroit Pistons center, who helped lead the team to back-to-back championships in the late 1980s. The baddest of the “Bad Boys”, Laimbeer once fought Celtics Hall of Famers Larry Bird and Robert Parish in the same playoff series.

12. The Golden Bear (Jack Nicklaus) – Universally regarded as one of the top two or three players ever to pick up a golf club, Nicklaus was dubbed “The Golden Bear” thanks to a combination of physical (blonde hair and a sturdy build) and mental (fierce competitiveness) attributes. Though his last victory in a major tournament came two decades ago, at the classic 1986 Masters where he came from six shots down on the back nine to earn the win, he is still the all-time career leader in the category with eighteen wins.

11. The Barber (Sal Maglie) – Pitchers were meaner back in the 1950s, willing to fire a warning shot under a batter’s chin for such a subversive act as digging in too firmly at the plate. None was more ornery than Maglie, the Giants pitcher from that era who personified the discord between his team and the inter-city rival Brooklyn Dodgers by refusing to back down from any hitter, often buzzing them so closely that his fastball nearly shaved a few whiskers from their chins.

10. El Guapo (Rich Garces) – The beauty of the “El Guapo” nickname was in its irony; meaning “The Handsome One” in Spanish, it most certainly was not an apt description for the portly Garces, who was listed at 250 but likely tipped the scales at close to 300 pounds during much of his tenure with the Boston Red Sox. Despite the fact that he looked more like me than a professional athlete, Garces spent seven seasons in Beantown, including three as the team’s most reliable bullpen option.

9. Magic (Earvin Johnson) – At 6’9”, Johnson might have been the tallest point guard in NBA history, but he was also an extraordinarily talented athlete who proved capable of playing any position on the floor, as evidenced by his 42 point performance at the center spot in Game Seven of the NBA Finals his rookie season. His nickname was picked up as a young man, but can best be explained through the visual image of him leading the Lakers on the fast break, looking right before flipping a pass back to the left and making it all look easy.

8. Mr. October (Reggie Jackson) – A controversial player during much of his major league career, Jackson was, indisputably, a money player when it came to the postseason. His greatest achievement was the 1977 World Series, when he did something only the great Babe Ruth had accomplished previously and hit three homeruns in one game (the deciding Game Six – in addition, all three came on three successive swings) and five total in the Series. His crowning as Mr. October has led to similar nicknames for Derek Jeter (Mr. November) and Dave Winfield (Mr. May).

7. The Galloping Ghost (Red Grange) – Before LaDainian Tomlinson, before Walter Payton, before Gayle Sayers, there was Grange, one of the finest backs in the history of organized football. He was given his nickname by Chicago sports writer Warren Brown after a game against Michigan in which Grange scored four touchdowns in twelve minutes, doubling the Wolverines total from the previous two seasons combined.

6. Knuckles (Chris Nilan) – I found this nickname for Nilan with many others on a Wikipedia page for athletic nicknames, and had a good idea which sport he played (hockey) and how he played it (with his fists). Turns out, Nilan is one of the most penalized players in NHL history, with 3,000 career minutes spent in the little glass box, including a record ten penalties and 42 penalty minutes in one game.

5. Manos de Piedra (Roberto Duran) – Duran was one of the greatest lightweights of all-time, winner of 103 fights against only 16 losses. A winner of five title belts in four divisions, he once won thirty fights in a row and 73 of 74, but is best remembered for the infamous “no mas” bout against Sugar Ray Leonard, in which Duran quit near the end of the eighth round.

4. Basketball Jesus (Larry Bird) – There is no better description for the way Boston Celtics fans viewed Bird in the 1980s than the nickname bestowed upon him by ESPN columnist Bill Simmons. The public views most professional athletes as talented physical specimens who possess a certain natural skill; not so with Bird, a player considered by many the hardest working player in league history. That work ethic stemmed from a fierce competitiveness and desire to win – the greatest Bird story ever is the time he walked into the locker room prior to the Three Point Shootout at NBA All-Star Weekend and casually asked, “So, which one of you guys is going to finish second?”

3. The Great One (Wayne Gretzky) – The NHL’s career leader in goals, assists, and points, Gretzky was the single greatest force the league has ever seen. Unlike other sports, where fans of various eras will voice support for their choice of the best ever, that discussion doesn’t seem to exist in hockey; sure, there are those who will argue that Gordie Howe was number one because he played so well for so long or Mario Lemieux should be at the top because he was great even in the face of several potentially debilitating injuries, but those tend to be devil’s advocate arguments. It is still Gretzky against whom all young potential superstars are measured.

2. One Size (Fitz Hall) – My goal in creating this list was to stay away from nicknames that were based on a players initials or shortened name (no MJ, no A-Rod), those that were shared by more than one athlete (no Sugar, no Big Red), and those that were little more than unimaginative puns or plays on words (no Dice-K). Even so, the nickname bestowed on Hall, a 26-year old English soccer player, was too good to pass up – play on words or no, it made me laugh out loud when I saw it on the aforementioned Wikipedia nicknames page.

1. The Splendid Splinter (Ted Williams) – Two images exist of the Ted Williams who played with the Boston Red Sox for two decades in the middle of the twentieth century: the aged star, worn out from years of doing battle with the Knights of the Keyboard and the forces of Germany, Japan and Korea abroad, and the baby-faced rookie, brash and bold and wanting only to hear people proclaim him to be the greatest hitter who ever lived. The latter image was the one who, at a lanky 6’3” 180 pounds, became known as “The Splendid Splinter”, the sweet-swinging outfielder who hit .400 in a season, won two Triple Crowns and two Most Valuable Player awards, and gathered a handful of batting titles.